As astrologers, we often get calls from clients who are trying to understand the behavior of a friend or romantic partner.
Sometimes the situations are trivial. The friend said something totally insensitive, and it turned out that Mercury was retrograde. You know that I always counsel forgiving and forgetting, as otherwise intelligent people say and do stupid things when Mercury is retrograde.
But what about more serious circumstances? Let’s say your significant other comes home one day, says he (or she) has been living a lie, needs space to go find himself, and is moving out. You consult your astrologer and find out that Pluto is crossing his Ascendant. Or what if you find out that your partner has been having an affair behind your back? You look at his chart and see that Neptune is exactly square his Moon.
Would you forgive these behaviors if you knew that a difficult planetary transit was behind it?
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Wow. I had to answer this question with a “none of the above” or, um, “Yes, but I’m a Libra and reserve the right to change my mind”.
There’s a significant amount of Scorpio in my chart, so I can be a little vengeful… on those rare occasions when I need to show the world who it is that they’re messing with! BUT having Mercury in Scorpio does make me brainy/sarcastic before vicious/violent about my battles.
Sigh. I do have the right to change my mind. Some mistakes are, indeed, mistakes. But others are not– they’re more deliberate and mean in nature– and 100% of the time, I’ve elected not to forgive them and move on.
This method of thinking serves me well. I’ve no complaints.
Long story short, no.
I took an astrology class from Elsa and this topic actually came up in there because one girl’s boyfriend broke up with her, is boinking others, yet is still interested in her. Apparently he is going through a long-term Neptune transit.
Unfortunately, the transit’s going to be going on for a LONG TIME. Can you really sit around waiting for someone’s transit to be over, when in the meantime, this is the person they are now for years and they’re not a good one? I think not.
It was Libra moi who added the last answer. I too have lots of Scorpio (including Mars conjunct Mercury) and have developed a list of “unforgivable’s” over the years. Infidelity and physical violence are right on the top.
However, I also choose my battles carefully and end up often as not, letting go and moving on. One thing I have learned too is being very up front about my “unforgivable’s” is the best way to start out. :-D
Forgiveness is not synonymous with approval or tolerance. And there’s a difference between one mistake and a pattern of behavior.
Rather than astrological aspects, we could substitute a psychological illness or traumatic upbringing. Knowing that these influences are behind someone’s behavior can help us understand and feel compassion for them, and if they’ve done something to hurt us, this knowledge can help us forgive.
Does that mean staying with an abusive spouse, a philandering boyfriend, or a friend who’s stealing from you to support her Neptune-induced drug habit? Of course not! You can forgive and at the same time cut that person out of your life. In fact, forgiveness will help you make a cleaner break.
I should add that even the most difficult astrological aspects are never an excuse for intentionally hurting someone.