Ask Real Astrologers: Am I Doomed to Suffer in Love?

This week’s question comes from Jessica in Florida:

What is coming my way as far as finding meaningful and truthful lasting relationship(s)? I’ve read that Venus in Libra in the twelfth house indicates suffering in love. I just feel I’ve had enough and I’m tired of getting worked up for nothing and staying past the “discard by” date. I know there are certain issues I have not fully let go of and I am still working on them, but if being alone is the answer then I’d rather accept it and find meaning in something else.

Libra ponders . . .

Neith’s response:

Jessica, Venus is important in your chart because she rules both Libra and Taurus, your rising sign and Moon respectively. However, in my experience, there is no particular stigma attached to having Venus in the twelfth house. It just makes those energies less visible to others. Venus enjoys being in Libra, but with Saturn squaring her, she is more subdued and formal – definitely not the pastel version.

With Neptune opposing your Moon, it’s very likely you have met your fair share of people who have turned out to be something other than promised. The odd thing about Neptune aspects that is we tend to overlook them and forget how profound an impact they have on us and our lives. Neptune-Moon aspects natally make it very easy for others to project their expectations on the native and avoid seeing the real person standing in front of them. I recommend getting a second opinion from a neutral party whose judgment you have learned to trust over time regarding potential partners.

You are also in the midst of your Chiron return, which will be over by the end of this year. Since Chiron is part of a T-square with your Sun and Uranus, this is an especially important event, with the potential to finally initiate healing of old wounds in the area of self image and self-esteem.

My suggestion would be to concentrate on nurturing and healing the child within, Jessica, in order to allow the woman you are now to be her most authentic self. Take it from someone with Chiron conjunct the Sun in Libra . . . all the work you do on yourself will pay off in improved relationships with others.

Best wishes on this journey of discovery!

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s response:

Jessica, there is no question that relationships are a major life issue for you, with Libra Rising, seventh-house Moon, and Venus conjunct your lunar North Node, a point that indicates our destiny or where we find fulfillment. That said, it doesn’t take an astrologer to tell you that working through personal issues first is a very wise move and will help ensure that each new romantic encounter is more meaningful and truthful than the last.

As for what’s coming up, the Jupiter-Chiron-Neptune conjunction that Neith and I have been writing about for many months is taking place in your fifth house, which is the area of the chart associated with love and romance. Jupiter and Neptune can be a hugely delusional combination, but since you’re already aware of this tendency, this transit instead might bring a soul mate into your life. Now, I always caution my clients about wishing for a soul mate, as you may end up working harder than you did alone! But that may indeed be the next step for you. If you have to go through a couple more relationships as learning experiences, don’t be discouraged. At some point, you have to stop reading books about swimming techniques and just jump in the water!

It may help for your intense Scorpio personality to try to let go of control over the outcome. A “successful” relationship for you may not be one that ends in marriage or cohabitation, but one in which you learn and grow. I’ve had several relationships like that, and while the endings were always hard, I gained more than I lost.

Hang in there and keep doing the work. It always pays off.

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1 thought on “Ask Real Astrologers: Am I Doomed to Suffer in Love?

  1. hitchhiker72

    I have Venus retrograde in my chart and was told by an astrologer friend to ‘wake up my Venus’. I’d assume Venus in the 12th can feel hidden or ‘asleep’, too. It’s entirely possible to live the potential of your chart rather than be limited by it.


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