Relationship Energetics, Part I

It is a joy to introduce you to Judy Grupenhoff, an energy healer with amazingly clear vision. In today’s article, she lays the groundwork for understanding a special technique she uses to help people heal the parts of themselves that unconsciously participate in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships. ~ Pat

We are in a time of great transformation, personal as well as planetary. In the big picture, that is a wonderful thing. But transformation often does not come easily.

The process requires that we allow our identification with who we think we are to crumble so that who we truly are can emerge. It can be an awfully bumpy ride as the outdated structures of our lives transform into healthier ones.

Astrology, of course, provides a context for this transformation and can often help us understand the journey from a bigger perspective. As many of us have discovered, however, insight and awareness are sometimes not enough to shift the long-standing patterns we are attempting to transform out of, especially when it comes to relationships.

Is it possible to assist the process of transforming these patterns? Absolutely, but it requires a different frame of reference than the one we are normally used to.

[headline h=”5″]A new perspective[/headline]

All of us are deeply connected in a unified field, a universal energy matrix. This is not new information. Astrology, quantum physics, spiritual teachings, and New Age philosophy all talk about it in different ways.

In the unified field, energy takes two forms – energy as matter and energy as information. In the physical world, we experience energy as matter through our five senses. We use language to communicate and we know things through our cognitive processes.

In the nonphysical world – energy as information – there is another perceptive mechanism at work. In this world, our beings function more like radio antennas, constantly sending and receiving information, only a very small fraction of which we are ever conscious of. In the nonphysical world we communicate through vibration and we know things through intuition, “gut knowing,” or seemingly telepathic communication. Often we know but we don’t know how we know.

In the unseen world of energy patterns and vibrations, this form of communication happens through resonance. Think about holding two identical tuning forks. When one is struck, the frequency of the sound waves causes the other to vibrate. The second tuning fork resonates with the first because they share the same natural frequency.

And what do tuning forks and human beings have in common? More than you might think.

Each of us has an energetic signature, a set of energy patterns that is unique to the bubble of consciousness that we know as “us.” Some we are born with; some come from our life experiences. They form the lens through which we experience and respond to the world around us.

[headline h=”5″]How it works in relationships[/headline]

In a huge oversimplification, imagine that each of our (mostly unconscious) beliefs and assumptions about ourselves and our world is a single note. The sum total of our notes produces a chord that is unique to us. It is not something that we “hear” audibly, but our antennas broadcast it and other antennas pick it up.

When we come in contact with someone who has a “note” that resonates with ours, we feel it, often as an emotional response. It is what happens when someone “pushes our buttons” or when we feel naturally at ease with someone.

This resonance explains why despite the use of “I statements,” endless negotiation, and compromise, we sometimes stay stuck in a relationship dynamic loop that never really changes. The problem here is not with your communication skills; the problem is that the energetic conversation between your antennas is very different (and far more powerful) than the verbal conversation you are having and it is actually what is running the show.

Let’s say you grew up in an environment where you didn’t feel valued and you picked up a set of notes that created an “I’m not important” program that is now so deeply ingrained and is so invisible to you that you don’t even know you have it. You have become identified with this program – it as a part of “you.”

Even though you may not be aware of it, that program creates an energy pattern that is broadcast far and wide. It is as if you are carrying an energetic script that says “Here’s the script. You read the red lines, I’ll read the blue lines and together we will reinforce the truth of my programmed reality.” And there are any number of people willing to pick up the script and read their part!

It doesn’t matter whether you picked up the “I’m not important” program from childhood or whether you picked it up in other lifetimes. Wherever it came from, you can clear it. But in order to clear it, you first have to see it, and that is where our relationships are the greatest teachers. They show us our programming – the notes in the chord – that would otherwise be invisible to us.

So from this perspective, the real problem is not with the particular person involved but with the note that is being activated in you. The solution is to not to try and get the other person to change, but to notice and clear the note you are carrying so that you are no longer broadcasting something that others respond to. The notes are who we have come to think we are, and the more notes we clear the closer we get to who we truly are.

Note: This is not about condoning someone’s bad behavior or allowing someone to treat you in a way that is hurtful or harmful. It is not a justification for staying in a destructive situation. And this is certainly not about “blaming the victim” for having caused a situation to happen. It is simply a context to help you understand and work at an energetic level with the unconscious parts of that are out here engaging in the world in ways that do not support you because when you change the script, the dynamic will also change.

So the big question becomes, if the patterns are invisible to us, how can we learn to identify and clear them?

We’ll explore the answer to this question in Part II of this article …



Judy Grupenhoff, MS, teaches classes and works in person and by telephone. Using a variety of techniques, she helps individuals get “unstuck” from unhealthy and unproductive patterns so that their lives can be happier and healthier on all levels and they can make positive, lasting change. For more information or to contact Judy, visit her Web site, The Power Center.