This week’s question comes from Elena in Romania:
I broke up with my friend last autumn. I am trying so hard to be with him again but he is so cold and distant. Please, just tell me, is there a chance for us?
Elena, your words could have been written by any one of millions of women around the world. I have been among you, and my heart breaks for us all.
I have been writing about this topic for years and see this situation as an indication of a fundamental wound on our planet. Many of us are trying to heal now, just when planetary energies are shifting to bring everything and everyone back into alignment. That is the good news. The bad news is that we have to go through this painful situation and suffer as a perquisite to healing. So many people I know are going through exactly what you describe.
To put it another way, our individual suffering is mirrored in the collective and vice versa.
As to your particular situation, you’ve been affected very heavily by Mars in Leo. He has been in your first house for an extended stay, and he has crossed over your natal Sun and Mars twice already — once forward and once retrograde — and now he’s about to cross them for a third and final time. In last week’s column, I addressed some of the effects of Mars retrograde on the Sun. There’s a major difference, however, in that you’ve got Mars going through your first house, and he’s also opposite your seventh-house Moon, which can make you more emotional than usual.
Moreover, both you and your friend have a lot of fixed energy in your chart (the fixed signs are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius). In fact, it’s quite interesting to note that you both were born near a Full Moon — you, with Sun in Leo and Moon in Aquarius, and your friend with Sun in Taurus and Moon in Scorpio.
Although you may have generated a lot of passion and heat in the beginning, you need to know that a long-term relationship with this person would entail ongoing conflict. It’s not impossible to make it work, but you would have to be very committed to each other, to your own personal growth, and to learning how to communicate without hurting each other. That may be the karmic lesson you need to learn, but I believe that you would eventually be happier with a relationship that isn’t so taxing and that allows your Leo personality to shine.
Thank you for writing, Elena. I really do feel your pain and hope that you soon will find peace for your troubled heart and soul.
For anyone who is interested, I do synastry readings, with a special gift for finding your karmic connections. I should warn you, though, that karmic connections aren’t always easy, nor do they necessarily mean that you were made for each other for all time. Many people I know are working through karmic relationships right now and are enduring a lot of pain in the process. What I can do for you is to help you identify the issue you are working on so that you can focus on that and get through your lesson as efficiently as possible.
Got a quick question? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers. You must use this form to contact me, or I won’t get your question. Be sure to fill out all the fields, and please spell out the month of your birthday. If you don’t know your time of birth, indicate “time unknown.” You can also use the drop-down menu above under “About Us” to get to the question form. THANKS!
RealAstrologers 
Thanks for this post. I have been in a similar situation recently as well and I have also heard/seen a lot of this going on around me as the Saturn Pluto square energy evolves and as Uranus has started slowly moving into the equation.
I ended a romance/friendship recently, and having a lot of Gemini and mutable/cardinal energy in my chart, have had no problem moving on and using the Saturn Libra energy to surround myself with the people I want to and need to be surrounded by. But two months have passed and my Aquarius Sun/Scorpio Rising friend cannot accept that he is cut off from me and my life and that my thoughts on the matter aren’t going to change (I DO have Taurus Mercury hehe).
Anyway, it’s unfortunate, but way better than the pain that would ensue had the relationship continued on. Elsa at elsaelsa.com put it really astutely when she advised that one of the main themes of the Saturn Pluto square is “stepping away from the corpse.” Things have been dying at a dramatic and shocking rate, but it’s sink or swim right now, and why sink?
Thanks again for making a post that I’m sure is relevant to so many people right now.
LikeLike
Thank you, Caroline. And thanks for the reminder that it isn’t always the woman who loses a man and pines for his return. It can happen the other way around, too, and also with same-sex couples.
That said, the cosmic pattern right now is divine masculine abandoning divine feminine. And we’re seeing it not just in our romantic relationships, but within ourselves, as mind “abandoning” heart and leading to a split between what we tell ourselves we want and need and our true heart’s desire.
LikeLike
Dear Pat:
Is there any way to get around or conquer this cosmic energy? I am pretty much going through the same suffering/healing/ and questioning phase as the reader mentioned above. Shortly after Valentine’s Day, my ex-partner informed me that he needed space and wanted to take a break from me. This is the second time he has abandoned me (first occurrence in 2005). I was born November 22nd and my ex-partner February 5th. I have been trying to detach myself emotionally from this person and trying my best to move on. Nonetheless, he and I have a trip planned to Dominican Republic this upcoming Wednesday (April 7th). I am unsure about how I should act around him while on the trip. I don’t want to be disappointed or vulnerable. I have been seeking “astrology” to find answers and for guidance. But I feel hopeless and feel like “ I am searching for something that just Is not there”. And I am not sure if Saturn’s return to Virgo on the 7th is going to help or make our situation worst.
Any insight?
Thanks in advance.
LikeLike
Babbie, I wish you had asked this question earlier, as I would have been able to use it for the Q&A before you made a critical decision. That said, when we’re faced with this kind of decision, getting a professional reading is really the best thing. Space in this column is limited, and anyway, it never was intended as a substitute for a complete reading.
As for your general question about how to “get around” this cosmic energy pattern, I’m looking at this closely and will have more to say in future posts. I consider it one of the most important issues of our time. You (and others in similar situations) are right in the thick of it — or, as I sometimes say, you’re on the front lines of cosmic battlefield.
I wish you much love and courage to keep going.
LikeLike