Ask Real Astrologers: Why Doesn’t Astro-Compatibility Work?

Looking for AnswersThis week’s question comes from Joyce in Houston, Texas:

I am an Aquarius female. The ‘stars’ say that I am compatible with Libra men. But my relationships with this sign always end up going wrong. What is the problem? We just don’t fit. It makes me believe this astrology is all wrong. Even with Aries, I just don’t connect. They are argumentative, combative, and always have to have the last word. Who I connect with most are Virgo men. Go figure.

Joyce, I love getting questions like this, and I about fell off my chair laughing over your comment about Aries — no offense to Rams. I’ll explain in a minute why you annoy her so much.

First, let me say that there simply is no way to determine astrological compatibility by Sun sign alone. This is so important that I’m going to repeat it:

There is no way to determine astrological compatibility by Sun sign.

So forget this business of Aquarius gets along with Libra and Gemini. As a fellow Aquarian, I can tell you that Libra is not my first choice for a romantic partner, either.

Astrological compatibility is actually quite a complicated affair. There are two popular techniques, the composite method and synastry.

The composite uses midpoints between each planet in the two individual natal charts to create one new relationship chart. Synastry involves comparing the positions of the planets, houses, and some mathematical points in the first person’s chart with those in the second person’s chart. I use synastry almost exclusively in my compatibility reports.

Joyce, the first thing we have to do is to look at your natal chart. You were born early in the morning, making you a Rising Capricorn. Your Moon is in early Gemini, your Venus is in Capricorn, and your Mars is in Scorpio. The Moon tells us how you relate to another person emotionally. Venus and Mars, the love planets, tell us what pleases you, how you give and receive affection, and what turns you on in bed.

Aries and Libra conflict with your Capricorn Venus and Ascendant. Moreover, your Saturn is in Libra, and that means that an Aries or Libra Sun, depending on the degree, could be in direct conflict with your Saturn. An Aries Sun opposite your Saturn in Libra definitely would rub you the wrong way, unless he had other qualities that were so enticing that you could forgive his always having the last word . . . say, if he had Mars in Virgo.

In your natal chart, Virgo makes up most of the eighth house, which is the sector pertaining to primal passion and animal magnetism. When a partner’s key planets (Sun or Mars, for instance) fall in your eighth house, you find him very sexy! In addition, Virgo forms a harmonious trine with your Ascendant and your Venus in Capricorn. Planets past 10 degrees of Virgo work better for you; otherwise they clash with your Gemini Moon.

Of the two Libra gentlemen whose birth data you supplied, I’m guessing that the first had a certain amount of sex appeal, but the arguments got to be too much, and there was a constant undercurrent of power struggles. Still, it might have had some possibilities. The second guy has more red flags than China.

I hope that revives your faith in astrological compatibility, Joyce. Done right, it can identify where a couple connects the best and where they need to work. More and more people are asking me these days about karmic connections, and synastry is quite handy for this, as well.

For those of you who have sent questions and still haven’t seen an answer, I get dozens of questions a week and am very sorry that I can’t answer them all. I try to pick a good cross section, and I tend to pick questions that other readers may identify with. I’d like to reiterate that if you are facing serious challenges and need personal guidance, please consider contacting me for a private consultation.

Keep those e-mails coming!
Aquarius, the sign of astrologyPat

Got a quick question? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers. You must use this form to contact me, or I won’t get your question. Be sure to fill out all the fields, and please spell out the month of your birthday. If you don’t know your time of birth, indicate “time unknown.” You can also use the drop-down menu above under “About Us” to get to the question form. THANKS!