Ask Our Readers: How Do You Handle Conflict in Relationships?

After writing the post on Libra’s approach to fighting fair, I decided to pursue this topic a little further and see how others feel about this. Maybe you prefer to a more visceral interaction than I, with all my Libra. If so, please tell us about it.

Thus, this week’s question:

How much tolerance do you have for conflict in relationships, and how is this shown in your chart?

I’ll go first:

I believe it’s my Libra Moon-Neptune conjunction making me particularly sensitive to someone yelling harsh words at me. It feels like I’ve been punched in the solar plexus when that has happened. It is having Mars conjunct Mercury in Scorpio that gives me the means to edit my speech before it emerges.

It’s also possible the North Node in Gemini, another air sign, pulls me towards communicating my anger in a more civilized manner. The Sagittarius South Node in my first house is not nearly as good about choosing the right words.

At any rate, that’s what I see in my chart encouraging me to express my feelings, especially anger, in as non-threatening a way as possible.

Libra, an Air signposted by Neith . . .

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3 thoughts on “Ask Our Readers: How Do You Handle Conflict in Relationships?

  1. Mandy H.

    As said below, I build up a head of steam, my Cancerian otherhalf lets me blow it off, (some shouting,pouting and slamming of doors) and then we’ll sitdown and talk and talkand talk….

    I have a libra asc, (aq natal, mars aq, CapMerc)

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  2. Pat Post author

    Well, how I’ve handled conflict in the past and how I wish to handle it now are very different.

    In the past, it was simply to avoid it, period. Occasionally I’d blow up or say something inflammatory if pushed against the wall, but for the most part, I didn’t want to rock the boat. This is very clearly my Pisces Moon.

    I’ve also got a “Mars” problem, with Mars in detriment in Taurus tightly opposite Neptune in Scorpio. This makes it very hard to get outwardly angry or to even think I have a right to be. I’ve had to work hard not only to be able to express anger, but to be able to hear it from the other person without totally flipping out. In my mind, this is key to a successful relationship. Both people have to be able to hear and express the “difficult” emotions, and for me (at least) that requires a lot of trust.

    In any case, I am much better now about expressing anger and ultimately would like to be able to have knock-down, drag-out arguments that clear the air like a thunderstorm, and then the clouds part and the rainbow emerges, etc. There is nothing to fear, and everything to be gained.

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  3. Rossa

    That’s interesting Pat as we both have Mars opposing Neptune in Scorpio (well actually opp Jupiter with Neptune conjunct) but I don’t have a problem with expressing anger though I prefer it to be the very last resort.

    Saying that when I was younger I tried to suppress this as I was told as a child that the only reason I lost my temper was because I am a redhead! So for years I tried to avoid “losing it”. Mind you the family joke is that we don’t need heating when my mother’s family gets together with 10 redheads in a room.

    Being 6 foot (1.8m) tall and a “loud” lady as well means that I’m aware that I can be intimidating to some people if I’m in full flood. However once I came to terms with the fact that this is part of me and as long as I don’t deliberately set out to hurt someone by my anger I’m more comfortable with it. Sorry to say that when I do “lose it” I am a bit of a shouter but I’m not vicious, not a hitter, thrower of rolling pins or frying pans, breaking china etc. Oh and I don’t sulk, don’t do revenge and I prefer to resolve, get over it and move on (or kiss and make up if with my partner). Definitely go with your last paragraph.

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