This week’s question comes from Danae in Wellington, New Zealand:
I’ve been quietly freaking out re: this whole Pluto in Capricorn thing and how it affects me, especially the relationship I’m in at the moment — intense, to say the least. Any advice or insight on what’s in store? Although I must say, I am struggling in so many areas of my life at the moment. Am I doomed?
Danae, it does look like you are getting hit doubly hard by this Pluto transit, but it certainly does not mean you are doomed!
Pluto currently is opposite your Sun in Cancer, although he will not form an exact opposition until next January. He’s about to go retrograde and will back off from your Sun until then. Still, he’s too close for comfort, and you apparently are feeling this.
The good news is that, unlike some Pluto transits, you do have a large degree of control over a Pluto-Sun opposition. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to ruthlessly monitor your own behavior to make sure that you are not trying to force other people to live on your terms. We can fool ourselves into thinking it’s “for their own good,” but more often than not, it’s because we want to remain in control, for whatever reason. Sometimes this transit can work the other way around — in other words, someone is trying to force you into their box. In this case, your job is to fight back, but in a way that allows you both free expression of your life purpose and highest potential.
Pluto also is creeping up on your Descendant, which is the beginning of the seventh house of intimate relationships. He’s currently a couple of degrees away, and once he turns retrograde, he’ll back way off and won’t cross your Descendant until 2011. However, you gave your birth time as exactly on the hour, and it’s rare to be born that punctually. I’m wondering whether you may have been born a few minutes before the hour. If so, Pluto indeed may be crossing your Descendant, which indicates that relationship issues are coming to a head.
Astrologers can use this kind of information to do chart rectification, a technique for determining your exact birth time. Unfortunately, in your case, Pluto opposite your Sun mimics some of the effects of Pluto crossing the Descendant, so we’d have to look for other clues.
In any case, there’s no need to freak out. This is a power transit, so use it wisely!
Danae, I’m going to respond with some thoughts about your relationship and the synastry aspects I believe are the source of the most contention.
As you may know, Pluto in Libra is square your natal Mercury in Cancer, bringing all his usual control issues and inclination to be obsessive with him. So when your sweetie’s Pluto is within a couple degrees of yours, his Pluto reinforces what is already happening in your chart.
Sure, his Pluto is exactly sextile your Venus in Leo – very good for passionate encounters – but his Saturn is also conjunct your Venus. This can result in a lot of mixed signals coming your way. On one hand, he obviously finds you very desirable, while on the other, he may be uncomfortable with your style. Venus in Leo does go for eye-catching after all. Your Pluto also falls right in there with his natal Pluto-Mars conjunction, adding to the powerful draw between you.
The question I have for you is this: what expectations do you and he have regarding this relationship and each other, and what expectations do you have of yourself? If you two can clearly define what’s going on here and continue to practice being as open as possible with each other, it will help! And I will add my usual caveat regarding Pluto, which is to work on detachment – always.
I would like to add, Danae, your overall synastry with this man is not bad at all. Good luck!
Got a quick question? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers. We are getting some really great questions but unfortunately can’t use many of them, as they are missing information. If you’d like us to consider your question for this column, you must include your day, month (spelled out), year, and place of birth, and time if you know it. If you don’t, indicate “time unknown.” Also, we must have your current location. This is not optional. Thanks!
hi Pat and Neith,
Thankyou both so much for your insight, i feel reassured as what you both say is right on the mark.
Yes Pat i spoke to my mother and my birth time was not 8am exactly but after ..probably somewhwere between there and 8.15-20am.. so i dont know how much difference that makes.. probably alot?
The main plutonic (is that a word??) influence manifesting in our relationship seems to be a major trust issue on both sides. I fell for him heavily and instantly, however due to a seemingly inconsistent effort on his part I for months disguised my feelings as a sort of “casual affection” while he anxiously tooed and frowed (saturn uranus?) between family/work/his social life and another friend of ours who perhaps was “just a friend” ..doubt i will ever know the latter as i admit evidence is subjective, potentially irrelivant to the here and now and i do have a tendency to think the worst!
Anyway over the last year or so since we met towards the end of 2007 we have become closer than i could ever have imagined and now we are very much together, I see a new vulnerability in him and realise how insecure he really is. Though i still am stuck on some of the questionable aspects of why it took him so long and whether that is an indication his feelings do not quite run as deep as mine. Like you said Neith,and Pat sometimes i dont know whos “box” our “styles” really are quite different and I whos trying to sam trying to what on earth I expect.. he seems to bring out alot of fear and vulnerability in me
as deep as mine. Like you said Neith our “styles” really are quite different and those “mixed messages” make it hard to figure out what i can expect. And Pat, sometimes i dont know whos trying to fit into “whos” box! I guess i have Pluto to thank! However no regrets as the last I would also consider this to be the most profound relationship ive ever experienced.. very cool.
Thanks again xxD
omg just realised TOTAL typo …sorry:( !