This week’s question comes from Cathy in the Philippines:

My question is basically about my marriage. I’ve been told my husband [has] a devastating Pluto transit going on in his chart and that it may very well get worse for our relationship … Will the stars be able to say if a permanent separation is possible? What’s the best way for ME to deal with this transit vis-a-vis my own? I’ve actually not had a look at my own transits in comparison to his.

Pat’s response:

Well, Cathy, we don’t have to look very far to see that there’s a lot going on in your life!

In your natal chart, you have a tight square between Pluto and Saturn, and these currently are being activated by transiting Pluto, which also happens to be on your lunar North Node. The New Moon in Aries yesterday formed the last leg to make a grand cardinal cross.

To translate, you are at a crossroads at which there are many changes ahead for you. The New Moon suggests that these will be positive new beginnings, although there’s a lot of heavy energy playing out in your life right now, so I don’t expect you’re feeling anything like “excitement about new adventures” and all that. By the looks of it, you may feel backed into a corner and forced to accept circumstances that you would not have wanted, given a choice.

At the same time, transiting Saturn has just passed over your Sun and is squaring your Moon in Sagittarius. Challenging Saturn-Moon transits can make us feel depressed, isolated, and alone, even if it isn’t the case, although unfortunately sometimes a key relationship does end under this influence.

On the bright side, Jupiter is making a nice trine to your natal Venus-Uranus conjunction and also to your Ascendant. I think this will bring you some relief. If your husband decides to leave, it looks to me like you will find someone else very quickly.

Other than that, I am not going to comment on his chart, as ultimately you don’t have any control over what he does or doesn’t do with his heavy Pluto transit. All you can control is your response to your own transits, and you have all you can handle without trying to look after him, too.

Although you are going through a hard time, I believe you are going to come out of this very well, and you will look back and see that the events happening now were necessary to get you to a better, happier place.

I wish you much love and courage.

Neith’s response:

Cathy, with your Libra Rising, having a partner is very important to you, and you obviously take holding up your end of the bargain seriously. However, Venus, Libra’s ruler, is tucked away in your twelfth house conjunct Uranus and blessing you with a naturally independent streak, as does your Sagittarius Moon.

As Pat noted, Pluto is exactly opposing your Saturn in Cancer now. Your Saturn is also conjunct your husband’s Venus, giving us a great example of how conjunctions in synastry affect both parties. The Saturn-Venus conjunction likes being married, and having Pluto opposing this conjunction is not comfortable in any sense. Pluto cares nothing whatsoever for conventions and is intent on slowing transforming your views in this regard.

You have an agreeable sextile between your Saturn in Cancer and Mars in Taurus, reinforcing the side of you that likes routine and keeping things simple. Combine this with Rising Libra’s well-known fondness for not rocking the boat, and it’s easy to see why you may feel split down the middle right now.

Something I’ve found to be a good rule of thumb for evaluating if you have made a good choice for yourself is if the dominant feeling is one of relief. My hunch is that once you have come to a decision, you will be surprised at how much clearer you feel. The last week in May might be a good time to watch out for fireworks, when Mars in Aries crosses your Descendant and conjoins your husband’s Mercury-Moon.

Good luck and be well, Cathy.

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