This week’s question comes from Nala in Melbourne, Australia:

I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again in relationships. Am I somehow astrologically engineered to do so? I met the man of my dreams, and after a short but very intensive relationship, we have broken up. I just feel as though I will never find anyone. Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life?

Nala, no one is ever “doomed” to be alone. We humans do seem to have a bad habit of repeating mistakes, though, and astrology can help identify those patterns.

Unfortunately, you didn’t provide me with a birth time, and that means we don’t have an exact degree for your Moon in Leo, and we don’t know what houses any of your planets are in. This is a handicap. If you know your birth time, I would suggest getting a full reading by a professional astrologer. Of course, I always suggest that, as this column isn’t a substitute for a thorough reading.

That said, a couple of things jump out at me right away. First, you have a tight Yod with Pluto and Neptune at the base and Venus and Mars conjunct at the apex. The planets at the base of a Yod work well with each other but are totally out of synch with the planet or planets at the apex. Venus and Mars are the love planets, and they are taking a lot of heat in your chart.

The inconjunct from Neptune to Mars and Venus tells me that you may not always be realistic in your choice of partners. It may be hard for you to take off the rose-colored glasses and see your partner for what he really is. With Pluto in this configuration, you get smacked hard when you overlook those vital signs and clues. And to top it off, you may feel a heavy burden of guilt, like you did something wrong to deserve it.

Second, your Venus and Mars are opposite Uranus in Scorpio, all square Saturn in Leo. Your Moon may be in this configuration, too, but without a birth time, there’s no way to know. This does suggest some difficulty in breaking out of habits that don’t serve you, but all that means is that you have to work a little harder. The fact that you’re asking questions is a good start.

The lunar North Node in a birth chart can tell us what will make us the most happy and give us fulfillment. In your case, the North Node is in Libra, sign of relationships. So it’s clear that you want and need to be in a partnership. However, the Universe is asking you to do a lot of work to make this happen. This is no accident, and it even may be your life’s purpose.

Put another way, relationships aren’t supposed to be easy for you, and that’s the point. The most important lessons you’ll learn in this life will be those you master through your romantic partnerships. Once you key into this, you will experience personal transformation and a powerful awakening of consciousness.

By the way, Mars has been in Leo since last October, and he was retrograde for several months. This no doubt complicated your relationship, as Mars transits tend to stir up trouble. Looking at your charts, I wouldn’t say it was the cause of the breakup, but it likely provided the trigger or “last straw.”

All worthwhile endeavors require a lot of trial and error before we get it right. Love is no different. Try to remain positive and keep an open heart, despite the pain of loss when things don’t turn out the way you think you want them to.

I hope that helps Nala.

Pat

Got a quick question? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers. You must use this form to contact me, or I won’t get your question. Be sure to fill out all the fields, and please spell out the month of your birthday. If you don’t know your time of birth, indicate “time unknown.” You can also use the drop-down menu above under “About Us” to get to the question form. THANKS!