My recent Q&A column on soul mates elicited several similar questions, so I’m taking two of them together this week:
I was with my ex for a year but was having doubts and questioning my relationship with him and saw it falling apart. I’m not sure whether he was in my life for a reason, of which I was to learn and keeping growing from, or more of a spiritual growth as I become more aware. I have never felt such deep, devoted love from him, but I do love him so much, from the heart. Could you give me insight on where things are at? Should we be together, or do we need to move on? ~ Samantha in Hampshire, England
I’ve connected to a man via the internet on a deeply emotional and open channel. I have, however, started to think that what we may have thought to be a romantic connection is actually more a karmic or soul journey. Are you able to connect any dots looking at both our charts? I’m still a novice when it comes to chart reading so would really appreciate any insights you may have. ~ Sarah in South Africa
Love and spiritual growth go hand-in-hand. It’s no coincidence that more and more people are asking about deep, soul unions as humanity experiences a leap in consciousness. Once again, I will attempt to address what I consider to be one of the most burning issues of our time.
Samantha, there are definite sparks in the synastry chart with the gentleman whose birth data you provided, as well as some of the classic markers for a karmic connection. For example, your Moon is conjunct his lunar North Node, a major indicator of a karmic relationship. There are some positive aspects for a long-term commitment, too, notably his Sun in a tight trine to your Saturn.
However, there are a lot of problem areas in this chart, and it’s readily apparent why you were questioning the relationship. The biggest problem I see is that his Saturn is dead on your Ascendant. This suggests that you were carrying a heavy burden in this relationship, and not by your choice. The burden may have weighed you down so much that it sapped your spirit and sucked the life out of you. Sometimes we agree to carry a karmic burden for another person, but it’s a tough road to follow.
Another problem is that I don’t see much emotional fulfillment in this relationship for you. The love you feel is coming from you. That may be a source of joy, but love needs to be nurtured and fed, or it can’t survive. The fact that you feel such love and devotion is a victory. Not everyone has the capacity to love, so it is a wonderful gift when we are able to feel it so deeply. Spiritual growth and expanding consciousness require an open heart. It appears that this man did that for you, and now it’s time to move on.
Sarah, the first thing that jumps out at me in your chart with your Internet love interest is that his Sun and your Moon are quite close. This is a strong indication of a romantic relationship, and there are other indicators as well. You also have some strong karmic markers, as well as some signs of physical chemistry.
On the not-so-positive side, you have a Venus-Neptune conjunction, and that is a big, red flag that you need to keep your expectations in check, and it sounds like you are. Since his Sun and Saturn are conjunct, that also means your Moon and his Saturn are very close, and this sometimes inhibits the free flow of affection. Or, it’s possible that he’ll get cold feet and not want to meet after all.
I dabbled in Internet dating off and on, so I know the power of the mind connection. Internet attractions can be very emotional and, surprisingly, very sexually stimulating. However, everything changes when you meet in person and begin interacting on a regular basis. I always tell my clients who are having Internet relationships to meet as soon as you possibly can. And, while I hate to be a party pooper, I also tell them to keep their expectations low. Many people do marry after meeting on the Internet, but far more end up disappointed.
You are right to be cautious, Sarah, but I would give this one a chance and see how it goes. There is clearly a karmic lesson involved, and that, at least, is worth exploring further.
For anyone who’s interested, I offer a comprehensive synastry report, with an emphasis on soul connections, since so many people are asking about it these days. Whether you just met or have been married for some time, having your chart done can help you identify where you’ll have the easiest connection and where you may experience some challenges.
Thank you both for writing. I wish you much courage on your journey to love.
Got a quick question? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers. You must use this form to contact me, or I won’t get your question. I do read all of your questions, although I am sorry that I can’t answer them all. If you need immediate guidance or in-depth advice, please contact me for a private consultation. THANKS!