Many times we need to choose what the nature of a relationship will be. Will we be friends or lovers?
When the outer planets are dominant in a compatibility chart, we often are drawn into a relationship despite our best intentions. I recently received an email from a young woman asking about her troublesome relationship with a young man, and in the process of looking at their synastry chart, I realized she may have been overwhelmed by the undertows created by the outer planets.
In their natal charts, they both have Moon in Libra and Mercury in Scorpio, indicating emotional and mental compatibility. However, her Sun in Capricorn is square his Libra Moon, even though his Sagittarius Sun is sextile her Moon in Libra. In most instances, a Sun-Moon square creates the possibility of misunderstandings and makes it difficult to sustain an intimate relationship. Nonetheless, this is pretty darn good chemistry.
Pluto’s influence is very evident, with his Mars-Pluto square and her Mars conjunct Pluto in Scorpio. It’s like they both have Mars in Scorpio on steroids. Both have Moon-Pluto natal aspects, so finding perspective in emotional matters is challenging, to say the least. Pluto and the sign her rules, Scorpio, both have obsessive qualities. Pluto’s role in both natal charts says they are both intense and possibly obsessive.
However, Neptune is also prominent in both charts. Neptune is conjunct her Sun-Venus, and he has also has Venus, Mercury, and Neptune conjunct in Sagittarius. In their synastry, his Sagittarius stellium conjoins her Mercury, a combination just about guaranteed to create a lot of empathy. It also indicates a possible psychic connection. The problem here, though, is that confusion can arise as a result. Venus-Neptune aspects make it difficult to sort romantic expectations from reality, too.
Just to make things more interesting, her Uranus conjoins his Sagittarius Sun – always good for instant attraction. A couple of wide Venus-Uranus synastry aspects add to the possibility of things heating up quickly and cooling down just as fast. The one planet not strongly represented in their synastry is Saturn. Saturn can help us stay grounded and practical – both necessary for durability.
As is also quite common with outer planet influences in synastry, the circumstances surrounding this relationship make being together as a couple difficult to bring about. To her credit, this woman understands what is at stake and is doing her best to detach from the relationship in order to preserve her sanity.
As an astrologer looking at their charts, I can see both the carrot (all the personal planet conjunctions for comfort and mutual understanding) and the trap (the outer planet synastry aspects), so the fact this relationship developed is not at all surprising. When someone has Libra rising and a Moon in Libra conjunct the Ascendant as well, learning life’s lessons through the vehicle of relationships is a given.
As to how to deal with this, I recommend getting a copy of Donna Cunningham’s book, Healing Pluto Problems. Donna believes those of us with powerful Pluto signatures in our charts can heal ourselves, and I can affirm that having done it. I send many blessings and lots and lots of good wishes flowing out to this young woman. Have courage; you can succeed.
posted by Neith . . .