Tag Archives: synastry

Ask Real Astrologers: Moon’s Nodes in Synastry

 Our question this week comes from Jennifer.

How would you recommend someone handle synastry where someone’s planet is conjunct another person’s node? Even though it’s not a romantic relationship, somehow this makes me feel extremely obligated and bound to the person, and I don’t quite know what to do about it. With the people who are bugging me, one has Venus conjunct my South Node (and conjunct their North), the other has Venus conjunct my North Node. Even worse, that one’s my mother. I am constantly irritated with her, but it feels like I’m married to her! I think we reinforce the bad traits in each other somehow.

Libra ponders . . .Neith’s answer:

Jennifer, awhile back I waded through a bunch of family birth dates to look for reversed nodes patterns. The most reversed nodes were between mother and child for some reason. Reversed nodes are not easy to live with, because the nodes represent a strong theme in our lives and in the case of reversed nodes, very simply put, you are going in opposite directions. Most often the child moved far away from the mother as soon as possible because of the irritation factor.

With a planet or planets conjunct a node, they act to amplify the nodal energy. Even Venus, who has a reputation for being pleasant, can come off as cloying. Jan Spiller, in her book Cosmic Love, suggests the South Node person may feel a sense of indebtedness to the Venus person, who is inclined to be overly permissive in this instance. The Venus/North Node conjunction is about helping each other with self-worth issues.

In the case of the North Node/Venus conjunction, finding a balance between being supportive and nurturing oneself may be easier to sort out, because we are usually more detached when it comes to the North Node. However, the South Node/Venus conjunction may take more tact to handle. If it were me, I’d opt for distance. Then, I’m a Libra and not fond of confrontation!

My mother’s North Node was in Libra conjunct my Moon/Neptune. In the end, I had to move out of town for several years to help separate my emotional baggage from hers. We were always close, but it was my choice to keep a measure of distance between us. Otherwise, I ended up feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes it’s what we need to do to preserve our sanity with nodal connections . . . maintain some distance.

Both Pat and I do synastry work (check out our reports on Love and Relationships) and either of us would be happy to offer more feedback based on the rest of the charts of the individuals involved.

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s Answer

I’m not sure I can add much to Neith’s response, as she was very thorough. Two things do come to mind, though:

First, a relationship is never based on one aspect, dramatic though it may be. Chances are, you have lots of other things going on between your charts, and these are feeding into your Venus-Node discomfort. If you have to interact with these people on a regular basis, you might want to order a compatibility reading to help you determine where you might be able to connect positively.

Second, while there are often cases of simple “bad chemistry” over which you have no control, that the nodes are involved with these two people tells me that there may be a valuable lesson for you if you stick with the relationship. I believe this is especially true with your mother, since it’s your North Node that’s involved here.

Not everyone is amenable to having heart-felt discussions, and you may not trust them enough to want to reveal your innermost fears and vulnerability. But at the very least, have that discussion with yourself. How do these two people reflect what’s going on inside of you? In the case of your mother, did she project her issues onto you as a child, so that now it appears that they’re yours? If so, might she be reinforcing them? My therapist in the late 80s called this the “family trance.” No matter how much we grow and evolve or how aware we are of childhood programming, when we get back together with family, we’re somehow sucked back into the old patterns.

Good luck, Jennifer!

Got a question for Neith and Pat? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers.

Ask Real Astrologers: Midheaven in Synastry

Readers often write to ask us questions about their individual charts or specific situations, so we figured it’s just natural to start a regular Q&A feature.

Since we have two different approaches to astrology, we thought it would be fun if we both answered the same question. As we like to say around here, two heads are better than one!

Our first question comes from Bridget in Milwaukee.

Hey, I’m just wondering what your general take is on one person’s Midheaven conjoining another person’s first house/Ascendant (not necessarily conjunct the Ascendant degree). I am not finding much out there about this synastry aspect and would love to hear your take on it!

Libra ponders . . .

Neith’s answer:

This is a great question! There is definitely a public aspect to this partnership, because both the Ascendant and Midheaven are indications of how we project ourselves visibly into the world at large. In fact, this particular synastry aspect is one Pat and I have (my ASC and her MC), and we have gone into a very visible partnership via our website, Real Astrologers.com. That’s not to say it’s uncommon in personal relationships, just that there is a good possibility the relationship will have a public component.

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s answer:

I concur with Neith that this aspect in synastry tells us something about how the two partners will interact in public. The first and tenth houses are angular houses and therefore action-oriented. The Midheaven person likely will be the one who initiates the action, brings the Ascendant person into the activity, or raises the Ascendant person’s visibility. Now, I do think there’s a possibility that these two could be competitive, but that depends on the sign of the conjunction and also on what else is going on in your charts. In a romantic relationship, if your Sun-Moon and Venus-Mars signs are compatible, then you should be fine. If competition does arise, it can be mitigated by agreeing beforehand on the “rules,” respecting each other’s opinions, and knowing yourself well enough to know whether underlying emotions are clouding your judgment.

Send us your questions! We will pick one or two a week to answer in this column. If your situation is involved, please consider a full reading by Neith or Pat, which will give you far more information than we can provide in a short Q&A format. Remember, Real Astrologers reports and forecasts aren’t generated by a computer but always written from scratch, exclusively for you!

Got a question for Neith and Pat? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers.

The Second House in Synastry: Follow the $$

going to the heart of the matter

With the Sun and Mercury now in Taurus with Venus joining them May 1, it’s a good time to consider how the second house works in synastry.

Taurus is the ruler of the second house and is noted for being fond of material things like good food, silky fabrics, and a healthy bank account. One of the most contentious areas in relationships is often money – or, rather, our attitudes about money, shown by the second house.

One of the reasons an accurate birth time is important in determining compatibility is that it establishes where the Ascendant falls, which in turn determines how the chart wheel is laid out, including what signs fall in each house.

If the Ascendants in both partners’ charts are harmonious, chances are very good the signs on the second house will be, too. For example, someone with Aries rising usually has Taurus on the second house cusp; if the partner’s chart has Leo rising, then Virgo will be on the second. Taurus and Virgo are both Earth signs and share similar ideas of how to handle money . . . thriftily!

Likewise, if the partner’s Ascendants are in conflict, the signs in their second house likely will clash, too. A Scorpio rising person with Sagittarius in the second house stands a good chance of running into disagreements with a Leo rising person with Virgo on the cusp of the second house. Sagittarius and Virgo have completely different styles for handling their finances. Sagittarius is inclined to trust luck a little too much for Virgo’s careful style. [What do you mean you bought a new SUV for a run to the mountains?!]

Planets in the second house strongly influence our values and attitudes about possessions, too. Saturn’s presence indicates extra caution with spending and handling material goods, even if the sign on the cusp is noted for being more free and easy. Likewise, Jupiter in the second house suggests generosity, even if he’s in one of the more parsimonious signs.

In synastry, if one person’s Saturn conjoins, squares, or opposes a planet in the second house, it can make the second house person feel like their spending habits are constantly being questioned – not good. Difficult Jupiter aspects often indicate that a couple will be excessive in their spending, even if they are able to maintain some discipline on their own.

Astrology is a great tool for identifying potential sore points in this sensitive area and helping discuss them, but it still is up to the individual to take the necessary steps toward resolution. Either Pat or I will be glad to offer our insights as we are both very experienced in the area of chart compatibility and do synastry reports.

Libra loves partnersposted by Neith . . .

Leo and Gemini couple – What Happened?

  This request came from a Gemini woman about a relationship with a Leo man whom she met some time back online. Their initial meeting in person went very well, but things went flat after that.

They have good synastry between their charts, with both Moons in Aries and excellent Sun to Moon exchanges with her Gemini Sun sextile his Aries Moon and his Leo Sun trine her Aries Moon – all comfortable fire and air signs.

In fact, the overall compatibility between the two charts is strong with several intra-aspects (where the same planets aspect each other from both charts). There are Venus/Sun and Venus/Neptune aspects for fun and romance, along with Mars/Uranus and Mars/Pluto aspects for really great chemistry. The Saturn/Mercury intra-aspect is a little more challenging, because on some level, communications feel blocked and there may be a sense of not feeling understood by each other.

Another positive factor is having the harmonious aspect between their Ascendants. She has Pisces rising, and he has Capricorn on the Ascendant. This indicates that they have similar ideas about what a good partnership is all about. His Venus/Saturn/Jupiter stellium in Libra falls in her seventh house conjunct her Saturn/Jupiter – a lot of Saturn for durability, balanced with Jupiter’s optimism.

The difficulties may arise because of issues hinted at in the natal charts. His Sun in Leo is the apex of a T-square with Uranus in Scorpio opposing Chiron in Taurus. Uranus/Sun aspects make for a very independent personality, and whenever I see Chiron aspecting the Sun I suspect self-image problems – an uncomfortable pattern to learn to work with.

Also, his Moon in Aries opposite his Venus/Saturn/Jupiter stellium in Libra indicates a tendency toward emotional ups and downs and difficulty assessing how he feels about his partners. Her Saturn/Jupiter conjunction in Libra squares her Venus in Cancer. This parallel between their charts offers an avenue to understanding, but when Saturn aspects such as these are present,  it can take time to develop a level of trust.

They both have Saturn in Libra, so relationships are a serious business and, as I’ve noted before, this inclines a person either to avoid commitments or to embrace them completely. These two have a lot going for them from an astrological perspective. I wish them well.

(Libra Rules!)posted by Neith . . .

Patrick Swayze & Lisa Niemi – Enduring Love

swayzes  When I read in the news that Patrick Swayze had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year, I was saddened. He has long been a favorite of mine as an actor and as an example of a Hollywood celebrity whose marriage works.

He and Lisa Niemi met when she was 15 and he was 19, and they were married in June 1975. That will be 34 years this coming June – great by any standards and extraordinary by film industry standards.

Of course, being an astrologer, the first thing I did was track down their birth data and look at the synastry between their charts.  ::grin:: 

Patrick has both Sun and Moon in Leo, with Virgo rising and Saturn conjunct Neptune in Libra in the first house. I’ve observed that Saturn in Libra people either spend as little time as possible married or are faithfully married forever. Patrick falls in the latter category and describes himself as loyal almost to a fault. Lisa’s Sun is in Gemini with the Moon likely in Sagittarius. I don’t know for sure, because I couldn’t find a birth time for her.

A look at the personal planets by sign shows solid compatibility between them. His Leo Sun is harmoniously trine her Sagittarius Moon, and her Gemini Sun forms a friendly sextile to his Moon in Leo. Having the luminaries in compatible elements, in this case fire and air, is an excellent basis for understanding. They both have the Moon in a fire signs giving them an intuitive understanding of the other on the emotional level.

His Mercury in Leo (widely conjunct his Sun) is sextile her Mercury in Gemini (closely conjunct her Sun) making communications a snap! Because they both have Sun conjunct Mercury, there is a strong parallel working here, too. They have great chemistry, too, indicated by the harmonious trine between her Venus in Cancer and his Mars in Scorpio.

In synastry, Saturn is the planet we look to for determining durability in relationships. Patrick and Lisa have a set of Sun/Saturn aspects demonstrating how this works. Her Sun is trine his Saturn and his Sun is square her Saturn. They chose to marry (Saturn likes signed documents) rather than live together, and it obviously works for them. A couple more Saturn aspects in their synastry: her Saturn in Scorpio is conjunct his Mars in Scorpio and his Saturn in Libra is square her Venus in Cancer. These aspects both fall in the stabilizing category and show up with great frequency between couples in enduring marriages.

Jupiter graces this pair with a sense of fun and optimism shown by a matched set of Mars/Jupiter squares (a little over the top but who cares) and a powerful conjunction between her Jupiter/Pluto and his Sun/South Node/Pluto in Leo. The second synastry aspect was the first one that caught my eye. There is another nodal aspect – her Mars is conjunct his North Node – yes, her planets conjunct both ends of his nodal axis! Aspects to the lunar nodes in synastry indicate karmic forces at work.

In many ways, these two support and encourage each other (the Saturn and Jupiter aspects) and have a wonderful sounding board in one another (Sun/Mercury aspects). Here is an instance where the astrology of the relationship clearly supports the reality. I wish them well in their current battle with Patrick’s cancer.

(Libra Rules!)posted by Neith . . .

Importance of Birth Time in Compatibility Reports