Category Archives: Ask Real Astrologers

Ask Real Astrologers: Which Horoscope Is More Accurate?

This week’s question comes from Dee in New Zealand:

In my boyfriend’s chart, the recent eclipse in Cancer fell in his fifth house. When reading some horoscopes for that week, I noticed that for Virgo, the eclipse was apparently in the eleventh house, and it was Pisces whose fifth house would be activated.

Now I am a bit confused as to how the houses work and wondering whether it would be more accurate to attribute a Pisces horoscope for him. I realize the beginning of his fifth house is at the end of Gemini, but when you look at it, most of the fifth house is taken up by Cancer. So is Cancer in his fifth or is Gemini his fifth house “ruler?” Or both? And does that mean both Virgo and Pisces horoscopes would be accurate? I have really got myself confused over this one and hope you even understand my question!

Pat’s response:

Oh, yes, Dee, we understand your question! It made me chuckle, actually, because Neith and I have written a lot about why Sun sign horoscopes are of limited usefulness. Your boyfriend’s chart is a perfect example.

As you note, your friend is a Virgo. In astrology, we say that Virgo is his Sun sign, because the Sun was moving through the sign of Virgo at the time of his birth. However, we also have a Rising sign (or Ascendant), which is the sign that was on the eastern horizon at the moment we were born. In your friend’s case, that was 28 degrees Aquarius.

The horoscopes you read in newspapers, magazines, and online are written by Sun sign, not Rising sign. So for your Virgo boyfriend, the astrologer puts 0 degrees Virgo on the Ascendant, 0 degrees Libra on the cusp of the second house, 0 degrees Scorpio on the cusp of the third house, and so forth. Sun sign astrologers have different techniques for writing horoscopes, but the most popular method is to look at transits to the solar houses. In my opinion, this is usually not very accurate, and it leaves astrology open to very valid criticism.

Even though your boyfriend is a Rising Aquarius, his first house is taken up mostly by Pisces, and that’s why his chart appears to be more like a Pisces, and he will get the most out of Sun sign horoscopes if he reads for Pisces. This won’t be 100-percent foolproof, but he may get pretty good results a lot of the time.

If you’re interested, you can find out more about Sun sign horoscopes in an article in my archive.

I hope this clears up some of your confusion, Dee, and thanks for the really great question!

Neith’s response:

Dee, thankfully you do have a birth time for your Virgo, because that clarifies matters considerably. This is also a great opportunity for you to learn more about how astrology works.

Another way to double-check which house is activated by the eclipse is to review what the dominant themes in his life are right now. The fifth house traditionally is associated with Leo, so we’re talking children, creativity, romantic encounters, and the desire to enjoy life a little.

It is so easy to get lost in the forest of details with astrology that one is often further ahead to stay with the simplest explanation. My rule of thumb is always to check to see if a transiting planet forms an aspect of two degrees or less to natal planets, the Ascendant or the Midheaven. If there aren’t any aspects, then relax!

This has been a very busy eclipse season, and naturally the most dramatic events are those being reported on various astrological blogs. Do keep in mind there are millions of folks around the world whose lives were not disrupted at all.

Remember to have fun with your study of astrology, Dee! It has a lot to offer just about anyone.

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Ask Real Astrologers: Am I Doomed to Suffer in Love?

This week’s question comes from Jessica in Florida:

What is coming my way as far as finding meaningful and truthful lasting relationship(s)? I’ve read that Venus in Libra in the twelfth house indicates suffering in love. I just feel I’ve had enough and I’m tired of getting worked up for nothing and staying past the “discard by” date. I know there are certain issues I have not fully let go of and I am still working on them, but if being alone is the answer then I’d rather accept it and find meaning in something else.

Neith’s response:

Jessica, Venus is important in your chart because she rules both Libra and Taurus, your rising sign and Moon respectively. However, in my experience, there is no particular stigma attached to having Venus in the twelfth house. It just makes those energies less visible to others. Venus enjoys being in Libra, but with Saturn squaring her, she is more subdued and formal – definitely not the pastel version.

With Neptune opposing your Moon, it’s very likely you have met your fair share of people who have turned out to be something other than promised. The odd thing about Neptune aspects that is we tend to overlook them and forget how profound an impact they have on us and our lives. Neptune-Moon aspects natally make it very easy for others to project their expectations on the native and avoid seeing the real person standing in front of them. I recommend getting a second opinion from a neutral party whose judgment you have learned to trust over time regarding potential partners.

You are also in the midst of your Chiron return, which will be over by the end of this year. Since Chiron is part of a T-square with your Sun and Uranus, this is an especially important event, with the potential to finally initiate healing of old wounds in the area of self image and self-esteem.

My suggestion would be to concentrate on nurturing and healing the child within, Jessica, in order to allow the woman you are now to be her most authentic self. Take it from someone with Chiron conjunct the Sun in Libra . . . all the work you do on yourself will pay off in improved relationships with others.

Best wishes on this journey of discovery!

Pat’s response:

Jessica, there is no question that relationships are a major life issue for you, with Libra Rising, seventh-house Moon, and Venus conjunct your lunar North Node, a point that indicates our destiny or where we find fulfillment. That said, it doesn’t take an astrologer to tell you that working through personal issues first is a very wise move and will help ensure that each new romantic encounter is more meaningful and truthful than the last.

As for what’s coming up, the Jupiter-Chiron-Neptune conjunction that Neith and I have been writing about for many months is taking place in your fifth house, which is the area of the chart associated with love and romance. Jupiter and Neptune can be a hugely delusional combination, but since you’re already aware of this tendency, this transit instead might bring a soul mate into your life. Now, I always caution my clients about wishing for a soul mate, as you may end up working harder than you did alone! But that may indeed be the next step for you. If you have to go through a couple more relationships as learning experiences, don’t be discouraged. At some point, you have to stop reading books about swimming techniques and just jump in the water!

It may help for your intense Scorpio personality to try to let go of control over the outcome. A “successful” relationship for you may not be one that ends in marriage or cohabitation, but one in which you learn and grow. I’ve had several relationships like that, and while the endings were always hard, I gained more than I lost.

Hang in there and keep doing the work. It always pays off.

Ask Real Astrologers: How Will Eclipses Affect a Cancer Midheaven?

This week’s question comes from Chelsea in New York:

Capricorn rules my IC and Cancer rules my Midheaven. What does this eclipse mean for me? As a side note, I read somewhere that Libras and Libra ascendants would be likely to get pregnant this year. Have you heard anything about this? If so, why is it, and when are the most fertile times? I’m trying to avoid it, personally.

Pat’s response:

Chelsea, you were born in a landmark year in which Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune were all conjunct in Capricorn. You also have Venus in Capricorn. As you know, this stellium is clustered on your IC, which is one of four critical chart angles. Since your Rising Sign is Libra, you are a poster child for the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn), all of whom are going to feel this new series of eclipses very powerfully.

As I explained in last Saturday’s Extra! post, how you’re affected by eclipses depends on the houses in your natal chart in which the eclipses fall. When the cusp of the house is in the mid-degrees of a sign, as yours are, then four houses instead of just two can be involved. In your case, these are the third, fourth, ninth, and tenth. This makes for a very broad range of possibilities, without even considering all those fourth house planets and the square to your Ascendant and Descendant. For accurate details, I strongly recommend a complete transit reading with an experienced professional astrologer.

As to your side question, I’m guessing that you found this prediction in a Sun sign horoscope. Sun sign astrologers cast horoscopes using 0 degrees of your Sun sign on the Ascendant, with successive signs each assigned to the next house. This means that for all Libras, your horoscope would be cast using 0 degrees Libra as your Rising Sign, with 0 degrees Scorpio on the cusp of the second house, 0 degrees Sagittarius on the third, and so forth.

Using this technique, 0 degrees Aquarius would be on the cusp of the fifth house for Libra. Jupiter currently is in Aquarius, and transiting Jupiter in the fifth house is often a major indicator of pregnancy. This happens only once every 12 years, so obviously not all pregnancies occur when Jupiter is in this position in your natal chart. But it is considered to be a lucky transit, so if you’re trying to get pregnant, doing so with Jupiter in your fifth house can bring you success.

Some Sun sign astrologers also suggest that you read for your Rising sign, which can be very accurate as long as your Ascendant is in the early degrees of a sign. If not, you get mixed results.

Do let stay in touch as the next couple of years progress and let us know how the eclipses are treating you! Thanks for writing, and best of luck to you!

Neith’s response:

Chelsea, even though your Sun, Moon, and Ascendant are in air and fire signs, your chart is predominately in feminine earth signs, including your chart ruler, Venus. If you have been reading up on Aquarius and wondering why the descriptions don’t particularly resonate with you, it’s because you have seven of ten planets in water and earth signs. Although Aquarius is called the Water Bearer, it’s actually an air sign and operates completely differently from water and earth. This leads me to believe that you will have little problem relating to both the lunar eclipse of July 7 and the solar eclipse on July 21, which are in earth and water signs.

If you are being called on to make decisions about conflicts between your career and your home at this time, my suggestion would be to pay special attention to your feelings rather than attempting to use logic and reason. Yes, this can be tough for a person with Sun and Mercury conjunct in an intellectual air sign. That said, Rising Libra is exceptionally good at seeking compromises and coming to sound decisions.

Another classic interpretation of a Full Moon in the fourth and tenth houses, especially with the Sun in the tenth and the Moon in the fourth, is finding oneself caught between parental demands. Having two New Moons falling at the top of your chart leads me to feel it is your public life and/or your father seeking your time and energy at this time.

Best wishes in finding your way during this eventful period, Chelsea.

Ask Real Astrologers: What Determines How an Eclipse Affects Us?

This week’s question comes from a comment posted by Mem to the Weekly Forecast for July 6:

What happens if an eclipse falls in a house in which you don’t have planets? And what if the particular aspect of life that house rules doesn’t apply to you at the moment? For instance, this eclipse falls in my seventh house. I don’t have a relationship and I don’t have a business partner. Now what?

Pat’s response:

Neith is out for the rest of the week, so I’m doing this week’s column solo.

Mem, this is a great question, which is why we saved it for the Q&A instead of posting a response to your comment.

Eclipses affect you whether or not you have planets in the houses in which they fall. In my work with clients, I have noticed a near 100-percent correlation between significant events in an individual’s life and the eclipse cycle, and these events nearly always match up to the houses involved. Eclipses stay in the same sign pair for about 18 months, and that’s typically how long the related events take to play out.

Because eclipses fall in sign pairs, there are two houses influenced and not just one. In your case, this new series of eclipses in Capricorn and Cancer will affect the seventh and the first houses. The first house is the most personal area of your chart, ruling your physical body and the persona you have taken on in this lifetime.

So, one way to answer your question would be that this series of eclipses may not be about partnership for you, but could have something to do with your person. With first-house eclipses, you might end up looking completely different 18 months from now. Or, you could get a new job that completely overhauls your life.

The outgoing series of eclipses is in my first house. I suffered a serious injury that has had a domino effect and brought several other changes in my life. Don’t worry, though, that the same may happen to you. Jupiter, Chiron, and Neptune were transiting my first house at the same time. Also, as of the last eclipse in this series, a lunar eclipse on August 5, I’ll be completing a rehabilitation program that should put me on the road to complete recovery. So hopefully there will be a happy ending, and I’ve learned an awful lot in the process.

Now, since this series of eclipses also fell in my seventh house, I had several interesting relationship developments as well, the first of which began just one week after the first eclipse in the series in February 2008. It looks like there will be some resolution or conclusion to these situations in the next few weeks — right on cue!

I do have planets in both my first and seventh houses. But even if I didn’t, the effect likely would have been the same, with the exception of the last eclipse, which falls directly on my first-house Sun in Aquarius. I’ll let you know what happens … if I live.

Just kidding. Back to your chart, Mem, the seventh house rules all close relationships, so the next 18 months could bring a significant person into your life. For some people, this might be a literary agent or investment broker. If you’re looking for a romantic partner, that is also a possibility. There aren’t always developments at the first eclipse in the series, but sometimes the second or third. In my experience, however, the outcome or resolution usually happens within a few months of the last eclipse.

Joe also recently posted an eclipse-related question, which I’ll answer tomorrow in the Saturday Extra! column.

I hope that answers your question, Mem. We’ll all be waiting for news, so please keep us posted!

Ask Real Astrologers: Why Am I So Lazy?

This week’s question comes from Bree in Denver:

I’m confused about my Saturn aspects. According to my natal chart, I have Saturn in Sag in the 6th house, trine my Sun and Mercury. All the cookie cutter descriptions of this say that I’m a hard worker and disciplined (especially with Moon and Mars in Cap). But I’m super lazy most of the time! Where would I see “laziness” in my birth chart, and why do these positive Saturn aspects seem so elusive?

Neith’s response:

Bree, many of those cookie cutter descriptions fail to take into account the flowing nature of the trine. A trine (a 120° aspect between planets) means the planets are in the same element and are extremely comfortable with one another. By and large, we humans are motivated by discomfort and without the irritation factor to keep us awake, we stay put.

Your Moon in Capricorn is traditionally considered an indicator of an ambitious person and indeed, I’ve known many people with Capricorn Moon who are very driven to succeed. But they often do so out of a need to prove something to themselves or others. In your case, a sextile from Jupiter in Pisces mellows out your Moon considerably. You didn’t say anything about your lifestyle and general living conditions but I’m guessing those, too, are pleasant and accommodating.

Perhaps you just need to find the right motivation to inspire you. Saturn will enter Libra at the end of this October and will square your planets in Cancer and Capricorn during 2010-2012. There is nothing like an irritating square aspect to get us to move! And don’t forget that Pluto in Capricorn will be slowly conjoining all your planets in Capricorn over the course of the next 15 years.

Most of the time the cookie-cutter approach to astrology gives us just enough information to tantalize and confuse us, without providing the threads that pull it all together. My suggestion would be to find an astrologer you resonate with and work with them.

Pat’s response:

I had to laugh at your question, Bree. Most people would complain that the books said they were lazy when they weren’t (or didn’t think they were). That’s a tipoff right there that you’re probably not as lazy as you think.

But let’s assume for a moment that you are the laziest person on the planet, a veritable sloth. Where might we find that in your chart? My first stop would be the sixth house. This is where we look for clues about how you approach your day-to-day chores. As you note, you have hardworking Saturn in this area of your chart. You also have Pluto in the sixth house, which is definitely not a signature for laziness, and I’ll bet you delegate tasks very well!

The sign on the cusp of the sixth house can tell us something, along with the placement of the sixth-house ruler. You have Libra on the cusp of the sixth house, and Libra is ruled by Venus. I might be tempted to chalk it up to this, as Libra’s job is primarily to look beautiful and make sure everyone feels good. But Libra’s ruler, Venus, is in Virgo, a service-oriented, down-to-earth sign that doesn’t shy away from hard work.

Your Cancer Sun could perhaps be the culprit, as Cancer does love creature comforts. Still, this wouldn’t make you lazy. Mars, the planet that rules physical energy, is very well-placed in your chart, so we can count that out, too.

Since nothing jumps out at me, I’m going to go with my instinct and say you’re setting the bar too high for yourself, possibly as a result of that sixth-house Saturn. This could be a case of being your own worst critic. I also wonder whether you are challenged enough in your work and daily life. Could it be that your problem is not laziness but boredom?

Ask Real Astrologers: Wrapping Up an Eclipse Cycle?

This week’s question comes from Rossa in the U.K.:

The third of the summer eclipses, the Full Moon lunar eclipse on August 5, is directly on my natal Sun at 13 Aquarius. What impact will this have on me? The series of three eclipses are close to a number of personal points in my chart, mainly in my first house, so it looks like it may be an intensive summer. Any insights into how these eclipses may resonate with my first house?

Pat’s response:

Rossa, as you noted in your e-mail to us, you and I have some similarities in our charts, including our Sun at 13 degrees Aquarius, in the first house. And so yes, you bet I’ve been watching this eclipse and anticipating it with a little bit of anxiety. But just a little.

Somehow it got ingrained in the human psyche that eclipses are ill omens — perhaps because people didn’t understand the celestial mechanics, or maybe because they sensed the disturbance in the Earth’s energy field. Who knows? In any case, modern astrologers don’t have quite as sinister a take on this phenomenon. It’s essentially just a supercharged lunation, which can be challenging because of the intensity, but not necessarily bad.

For you and me, I see an end of one phase of our lives, leading to an open door into the next one. Since this is the last in a series in Aquarius and Leo, there almost certainly will be a wrapping up of some kind. But this could happen before August, as eclipses can be felt 30 days or even more in advance.

The new phase of our lives might include changes in a major relationship, since this series has also focused our attention on seventh-house issues. In my case, I’ve clearly been in a learning and testing period over the past couple of years. While many of the events during this period were extremely painful, I am definitely the wiser for it. Awareness of the choices we make is empowering, and it feels like I’m on more solid ground in terms of choosing who to open myself up to.

Now, I sure am interested to hear what Neith has to say about this!

Neith’s response:

Rossa, not only is this the final eclipse on the Leo-Aquarius axis but this August finds the North Node moving from Aquarius into Capricorn in your first house. These changes will be reflected in the collective as well as the personal and you will have the advantage of being able to access these energies very directly. Practical, pragmatic Capricorn replaces visionary Aquarius underscoring the need to take care of the business at hand.

This also fits with Pat’s sense of one phase ending so another can begin. What loose ends do you need to tidy up before you can move forward? It is particularly important to take care of those at this time because when the North Node hits 29° Capricorn it will be exactly sextile your natal Jupiter, triggering your Jupiter-Midheaven conjunction. A sextile does not have the attention getting “zing” of a conjunction or square but it will provide positive opportunities for you to further your career goals.

Don’t forget the Uranus in Pisces sextile to your natal Mars either – as if you could with Uranus sitting at 26° forever! Here again the aspect is a sextile and encourages change without demanding it. The key to working with these delightful sextiles is paying close attention to what’s going on around you.

I tend to believe you will be experiencing the impact of the eclipse between now and when it occurs. The eclipse its self may be the exclamation point on “The End!” Now is a great time to keep your focus on the path immediately in front of you rather than looking at the long view.

Good luck on your journey!

Ask Real Astrologers: Did I Miss the Career On-Ramp?

This week’s question comes from Stan in California:

My finances are shot, I’m collecting unemployment, and I have no interest in getting my license to start my own private practice in clinical psychology, as I have “burned out” on being a clinician. I want to make a shift to academia for the intellectual stimulation and challenge and be in a place where I can teach. I know I have the ability and experience and that I need to refresh my knowledge base. Yet, in the last six months, I don’t feel like I’ve done enough, read enough, or retained enough to feel to feel as knowledgeable and as confident in an interview as I felt when in grad school. All I know is that I don’t feel like I’m making progress. Have I missed a sign post and thus headed in the wrong direction? I feel that there are some positive energies in play, yet I don’t feel that I have been able work with them. What am I missing?

Pat’s response:

Stan, first let me say hello to a fellow Aquarius/Rising Aquarius! Second, I can tell you that your natal chart indicates an innate talent for psychology, and you can have a powerfully transformational effect on your clients. In fact, you might even be a little scary for some people, as you can see deeply into their psyche.

This also means, however, that you can burn out easily, as you may have difficulty keeping your own psychic boundaries intact. I would say, off the top of my head, that your best solution is daily physical exercise. This will help you blow off the psychic clutter than you pick up from confused and wounded people.

If you’ve seen your chart, you may know that the rare conjunction of Jupiter, Chiron, and Neptune is taking place right on your Ascendant. This alignment is opening doors on deep healing. As you probably know from your work, this can be a painful process, and in your case, it is going to continue for the rest of the year. I don’t think you will be able to see your way clearly until this process is over. By next January, you will have a much better idea of your direction, and you’ll also have Jupiter in your first house to help you find great opportunities for advancement.

Aquarius is the sign of the future, and many of us are ahead of our time. I believe that your unique role will be in finding new perspectives on human psychology that will help heal humanity, starting with yourself. One of the topics I’ve written about extensively is the wound between male and female energies on the planet. You have a close conjunction of Venus and Mars in your first house, and Uranus (your ruler) currently is transiting these planets. Uranus is the Awakener, so I believe that you will be awakened to the dual nature of this energy in everyone, and this new information somehow will be of great use to you in your practice.

The very best of luck to you, and thanks for writing!

Neith’s response:

Stan, as Pat noted Jupiter-Chiron and Neptune have just crossed your Ascendant and are now in your first house. The other transiting planet in your first house is Uranus in Pisces, currently stationing at 26? Pisces preparing to come back over your natal Mars-Venus conjunction. This is a great deal of activity in your first house stressing the possibility of doing a major overhaul of your image among other things.

Your natal Mars-Venus conjunction is also the tip of a Yod, or Finger of God, with Pluto in Leo in your sixth house sextile the Saturn-Neptune conjunction in Libra in your eighth. This pattern pulls together the elements that make you an excellent psychologist from compassionate Pisces to transformative Pluto and to have Uranus about to make its second pass over the tip, it makes complete sense to me you feel the need for change. The third and final pass will come during the first three months of 2010.

It is likely Neptune crossing your Ascendant has obscured matters because Neptune is extremely good at that. My recommendation would be to see if you can sort through the mish mash of expectations, both yours and those of others, over the next few months and see if you can work with those that put you, the nurturer, first. This is all part of an ongoing theme in your chart where Neptune and Uranus are pulling you in different directions. I’m sure you are familiar with the concept of nurturing the nurturer but this is my sense of what’s needed now.

Perhaps when Jupiter moves back into your twelfth house at the end of July and reduces the cacophony in your first house, it will be easier to find your sign post. Jupiter is pretty darn loud at times.

Best of luck in finding your way into academia!

Ask Real Astrologers: Should I Fear the July 7 Eclipse?

This week’s question comes from Janet in New Jersey:

I’m afraid of what is going to happen at the next eclipse on July 7, 2009. I’m afraid I’m going to lose someone or that something bad might happen to me. My sister’s birth info is [info deleted for privacy] and she has some heavy aspects at the same time – something is definitely going to happen.

Pat’s response:

Janet, you aren’t alone in thinking of eclipses as ominous events. Although it is true that major developments often happen around eclipses, they are not always negative, and their impact depends on where they fall in your natal chart.

Before we get into the specifics, let me just say for those who don’t know that we are about to enter a new series of eclipses on July 7, when there will be a lunar eclipse in Capricorn. This will be followed by a solar eclipse in Cancer on July 21, and then another lunar eclipse on August 6, the last in the Aquarius-Leo series. Usually there are four eclipses in a year, but 2009 is an extremely rare six-eclipse year. This alone tells me that many of us are going to experience sweeping changes this year.

Because the first eclipse in the new Capricorn-Cancer series is a lunar eclipse, and because the following eclipse takes place at the 29th degree of Cancer, I think we may see some doors closing before new ones start to open. This can be uncomfortable, but it is not necessarily bad. And for some people, it simply may be leaving a job or geographical location to go somewhere else.

I do not see anything alarming in your chart, Janet, although this eclipse takes place exactly on your Vertex, which is one of the “destiny” points in a chart. So I think it’s fair to say that something major will happen. If you were single and looking, I might think that you were going to end one relationship and start a new one. If you want to know what all the possibilities are, I recommend getting a full reading with a professional astrologer (sorry to sound like a broken record here, but there’s only so much room in this column).

The new eclipse series falls in your sister’s sixth and twelfth houses. It does sometimes happen that when eclipses fall in these two sectors of the birth chart, a serious health problem comes to light. This is only one manifestation of a sixth-house eclipse, however. A thorough study of your sister’s chart (with her permission, of course) would help give you a better idea of the range of possibilities.

It would be nice if astrology could tell us exactly when bad things were going to happen to us and those we love, but unfortunately, it is just not that precise. So the best we can do is to go forward in confidence, as living in fear is not a positive or productive.

Neith’s response:

Janet, I agree with Pat on not seeing the eclipse on July 7 as aspecting your chart in a profound way. Generally speaking, a transiting planet has the greatest impact if it conjuncts an angle (Ascendant, Descendant, Midheaven or Nadir) or one of our personal planets.

Transits to the Vertex often indicate an important shift in our lives but since the Vertex is a calculated point, its value depends on the accuracy of the birth data especially birth time. If you do experience some type of breakthrough in fifth house matters (creativity, love affairs, children), that would be a good reason to believe your Vertex is accurate.

It looks to me like the source of confusion for both you and your sister is Neptune & Co. This stellium in Aquarius is squaring your Mars in Taurus from the cusp of your seventh house, and her Mars-Jupiter conjunction in Taurus from her eighth house. Neptune transits to Mars are often experienced as draining our energy, and when we feel tired all the time it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Having just gone through this transit myself, I am very well acquainted with this phenomenon.

Please remember to give yourself credit for the good choices you’ve made in your life, too. If you have a favorite method of relaxation such as yoga, getting a soothing massage, or walking in a beautiful area, do so. There is a good reason I frequently suggest forgiving ourselves first and foremost too.

Best of luck to both of you.

Ask Real Astrologers: Astrology Says I’m Doomed, Now What?

This week’s question comes from Ellie in the U.K.:

After a lifetime of terrible times and disappointments in love, I met someone wonderful. We have been together nearly a year and are very close, happy and there is a lot of laughter. I got worried because astrology seems to state that I’m just not supposed to have this sort of love in my life. So many aspects state that this currently lovely relationship is actually doomed. First, my Saturn in the seventh house is also in fall in Aries, I understand that to mean there will be no long-term happiness for me in relationships. In addition, my partner has Uranus in his Rising Sign Cancer, which I learn means he does not commit, has unstable emotions, and will eventually leave me out of boredom or need for freedom.

I’m determined not to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy but this all points to the fact that I’m probably setting myself up for the worst heartbreak of all time. This has really affected my feelings towards my partner who I love dearly because I’ve been through enough sadness already. Is there any hope? Can I change this at all?

Pat’s response:

Ellie, first I’d like to note that your question was much longer, but we have to edit for length. Also, you did not provide your birth data, which we must have in order to answer questions. I would just like to ask everyone please to follow the instructions and provide your birth data and current location.

We decided to make an exception for your question because of the general concept you pose, which is that the astrological outlook for your love life appears to be unfavorable, and therefore you are depressed, even though you appear to have found a very nice relationship.

My advice to you is going to sound harsh, but I feel the need to make this point very strongly. If astrology is making you depressed, then you need to stop using this tool and find something else that works better for you.

Astrology is meant to be a tool for self-discovery and growth, and predictions are not hard and fast. There are always many possible outcomes. There are some things we can’t change, but just as we learn to live with certain genetic and environmental handicaps, we can work around our energetic makeup (which is what your natal chart describes). I like to use the metaphor of sailing. What you come into this world with corresponds to the boat. You put it out to sea and navigate according to the currents and weather conditions. If your boat is small and slow, you can still arrive at your goal, but it may take more skill and planning. In extreme cases, you may be limited in how far you can get with your particular boat, but even then, you aren’t doomed. Diana, the former Princess of Wales, wanted to be a ballet dancer, but she was too tall. Instead, she ended up becoming one of the most beloved and influential women in the world.

Usually, when a reader presents a complicated question such as yours, we recommend a complete reading with a skilled astrologer. However, going into a reading with this many preconceived notions would not be helpful or productive. My advice to you is just to enjoy your relationship and forget astrology for now. Once you feel solid ground under your feet, then if you wish to explore the various facets of your personality and relationship with this special man, you can give it another go.

I hope this doesn’t sound too critical. I just want you to have the best chance of success with your relationship possible.

Wishing you much love and courage.

Neith’s response:

Ellie, I have to say the first thing that came to mind after reading your plea for help was to wonder why are you going there? Is there some reason you believe you are not loveable? And if so, perhaps that is where you need to start.

Earlier this year I was talking with a very good Libra woman friend of mine who had started seeing a man who treated her with the appreciation and respect she deserved. She had spent many years in counseling to overcome a difficult childhood and is in the process of regaining her self-respect. She and her sweetheart ran into a typical communication glitch and it threw her. My question for her was similar to the one I have for you: “Why are you tearing yourself down and starting to sabotage your relationship? Don’t you realize you are a loveable person and it’s OK for you to be happy?” She agreed with me.

What you have run into with what you are reading about astrology is a very common experience. It takes an experienced astrologer to see the whole picture because taking aspects out of context can be very confusing and misleading. I agree with Pat about forgetting about the astrology and going back to enjoying your relationship with a man you obviously care for.

My suggestion would be to find an astrologer you trust to give you honest feedback and get a second opinion before throwing away what sounds like a great situation.

Good luck!

Ask Real Astrologers: Venus Needs Help!

This week’s question comes from Fumi in London, England:

I have the Jupiter/Neptune conjunction squaring my Venus/ Ascendant, whilst Uranus trines my Venus/Ascendant for the rest of 2009. I am quite confused as to how this is likely to play out. I also am dealing with the ongoing Pluto square to my natal Moon. I am hoping for a fresh and liberating start romantically (Uranus) but am weary of the Neptunian illusion that the square indicates.

Neith’s response:

Fumi, it is understandable that confusion reigns now, with Neptune & Co. sitting in your third house. Also, the sign on the cusp of your seventh house, Taurus, is ruled by Venus, and Neptune & Co. are creating a T-square with your Ascendant-Venus and transiting Mercury (retrograde for another day) conjunct your Descendant. This is not favorable for clear thinking about romance.

After Mercury makes the final square to Neptune on June 10, the Neptune fog will thin some, and Uranus will remain at 26° Pisces until the second week in August. The biggest drawback of Neptune squaring your Venus-Ascendant may not be your lack of clarity, but the expectations others are projecting on you. You can either forego romance this summer or relax and have fun with this.

Pluto in the second house squaring your Moon in the tenth has to be bringing into focus what is truly of value to you. Do you still enjoy your career? Does it bring you the emotional satisfaction it did initially? If not, are there changes you can make, even if it means living more frugally for awhile? Many times when we spend time making do with less, we find it is not the hardship we thought it would be.

Perhaps the best thing for all of us who have been struggling with Neptune & Co., including myself, is to look at the lighter side of things and to keep in mind that the fog will lift eventually.

Pat’s response:

Fumi, confusion is not always a bad thing! Or, as an old friend of mine used to say, “I don’t know” is a good place to be. How many people do you know who are quite sure of themselves … and wrong?

The key thing to remember about Neptune transits is that your ego boundaries are dissolved, and this is particularly true when Neptune squares your Ascendant. It’s also important to keep in mind that Neptune is traveling with Jupiter and Chiron — what Neith is referring to with her shorthand “Neptune & Co.” Chiron and Neptune together provide a powerful opening for healing deep and ancient wounds, while Jupiter amplifies this effect and helps us expand into greater spiritual awareness.

The combined effect for you and for many others will be to heal an internal wound that has made it hard for us to connect on a soul level with a romantic partner. There are many things that keep this from happening. Two of the biggest obstacles I see are attachment to a particular outcome and trying to control another person. It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we aren’t controlling when we’re just doing so on a very subtle level.

Because you also have Uranus trine your Venus and Ascendant, a surprising new romance could come into your life, and this will be an opportunity for you to observe your behavior and response. I don’t believe it’s bad to become attached to someone; in fact, I totally disagree with this notion that we somehow can love with all our hearts and yet not be attached. Again, the key is to be bonded with that person and yet to resist controlling them or where the relationship goes. These are fear responses, and fear is the enemy of love.

This is not a personal judgment of you. To the contrary, I believe that we suffer from a collective wound in this regard, and I find it deeply gratifying that more and more people see it and want to work on it. Aquarius is the sign of the collective, and Neptune & Co. in Aquarius means that we have an unprecedented opportunity to do personal growth work that will have a huge impact on the collective. That is our mission, if we choose to accept it.

You, dear friend, are sitting in the catbird seat. I wish you much love and courage. Keep in touch with us, and let us know how it goes.

RealAstrologers

The astrology of world affairs, human evolution, the future, and the state of the universe.

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