Here is another post on Pluto in synastry from the Archives. One of the reasons I feel people find Pluto so daunting in both the natal chart and in synastry is because of the Pluto paradox of wanting to control and being unable to.
That is a deliberate play on words because if you see Pluto playing a major role in a chart comparison, i.e., conjunct the other person’s Moon or Ascendant, second thoughts about pursuing the relationship are in order. My reasoning here has to do with the reality that for most people, Pluto acts through them in an unconscious manner. For someone deep in a Plutonian obsession, it takes a pretty big smack on the head to get their attention, and you can’t be sure you’ve got it for very long either.
Pluto in aspect to the personal planets either natally or in synastry can show us the type of obsession. The Sun/Pluto contact is about “finding” our selves, usually by jumping in the deep end. The Moon/Pluto is obviously about exploring emotional entanglements and taking them to extremes. Mercury/Pluto can find us taking a particular line of thought to the bitter end. Venus/Pluto contacts can lead us to sacrifice our selves for what we are calling ‘Love’ and Mars/Pluto . . . well, that’s where we find out about rage. These are my personal key phrases – Mars/Mercury conjunct in Scorpio at work, going for the essence.
Pluto too wants to plumb of depths of experience . . . and he’s not fussy about whether that experience is positive or negative. When transiting Pluto was conjuncting my Moon in Libra, the relationships drawn into my life were with very different types than I had been involved with either before or after. I am a pretty typical well-educated middle class woman who happened to grow up on a farm and Pluto pulled alcoholic, drug addicted cons and ex-cons into my life for a period of about two years. These were all obsessive relationships where I behaved in a manner quite different from my usual calm and cheerful self.
That I survived the experience without too much damage is most likely due to a very hardworking guardian angel, and a natal Moon sextile Pluto/Saturn. The way out was in the form of drug & alcohol counselor, who asked the right questions, educated me as to what was going on and pointed out the direction to my usual habitat. I was very lucky and there are many people out there right now who are not . . .
Saturn placements can play a big role in how we handle Pluto – either in our own charts or in synastry. He can represent the solid bottom we can hit spiraling down in the grip of a Pluto inspired obsession. Sometimes we need Saturn’s willingness to deal with a problem one step at a time to find our way back. Perhaps it’s because I have the Saturn/Pluto conjunction (in the 9th House) natally sextile my Moon/Neptune conjunction (in the 11th House) that I understand how those two working together can support, protect and teach so much.
posted by Neith . . .
I have a natal Moon/Venus/Pluto t-square. It’s been horrible. The worst part of all was slowly waking up to how the women I choose as friends reenact the relationship I had with the women in my family: They protect an abusive man by gaslighting me. “No, no, no, it’s not what you think. No, no, no, YOU are the beast because you’re angry that he stole your money/threw your clothing out on the street, etc.” Finding out that the women you most trusted were slowly devaluing my sense of reality (Pisces Moon) has taken me all my adult life. It was one of the bitterest experiences I’ve ever had. Btw, they also absolutely 100% cling to me as THEIRS exclusively so they’re real cockblockers and/or demean me so that I won’t rise and get away (the women in my family especially). It’s taken a lot of therapy and a lot of nerve to deprogram myself from feeling that standing up for myself is NOT the same as being bad. Of course, if one doesn’t transcend this mindset, one begins to do the same thing to others–thank God I don’t have any children. I hope I am slowly but surely attracting healthier female friends who can support me without feeling threatened. I already have a couple.
You know you are not alone in this. Anyone with a natal Moon-Pluto aspect has to deal with this type of emotional blackmail to some degree. Keep in mind your natal t-square gives you a certain ruthless edge that works quite effectively for removing the b***hes from your life. I’ve had to apply that ruthless edge a time or two myself. Not fun AT ALL but necessary to preserve sanity.
Ah, yes, very true. I still wish I could get back all those years I wasted listening to everyone but my own gut. That’s all on me, man.
My ex and I both had Moon opposition Pluto – meaning, my Moon opposited his Pluto and his Moon in opposition to my Pluto. Yikes! If only I knew Astrology then…(at least I wouldn’t understand better what was going on)…
Oops, I mean…I would, of course. lol slip of the tongue.