Category Archives: Love & Relationships

Saturday Archives: When Will I Find Love?

Of all the posts I’ve written for my blog, The Pisces Chronicles, this one continues to get several hits a week. And with a powerful solar eclipse coming up this week in my seventh house of relationships, it’s a topic that is foremost in my mind.

When we’re talking among ourselves, astrologers often lament that the question we get most often is, “When will I find love?” or the even lower version, “Will he come back to me?”

Well, I just love it when people ask about love, no matter what version of the question they ask!

There’s no greater treasure in life than true love. It’s what we’re here for, and it’s what we all want, in our deepest heart of hearts. When you get right down to it, what else is there? That so many people are asking about it – even in what we consider to be an “unenlightened” way – is very encouraging.

It means they have started down the path.

I’m going to digress for a minute and talk about the Hollywood movie plot. In the mid-1990s, Chris Vogler circulated a paper at his studio about how the journey of the mythical hero could be incorporated into scripts to make the story more compelling. He drew heavily on the work of Joseph Campbell, notably The Hero with a Thousand Faces. His formula was so successful that he ended up writing a book, The Writer’s Journey, which is now on the must-read list of every Hollywood screenwriter.

The reason I mention it is that, while it might not be immediately obvious, the hero’s journey is extremely relevant to romance films, be they serious love stories or romantic comedies. After all, what is the classic formula “boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back” if not a hero’s journey? The story starts with desire – the strongest desire human beings ever feel – and that puts the hero or heroine on a path of testing, trials, and self-discovery as they get closer to what they really want. Pay attention the next time you watch a romance film, and you’ll see this formula at work.

Astrology is an extremely cerebral discipline. Contrary to what many people think, you have to be very bright to understand all the math involved, to grasp the nature of the various planetary energies and how they interact with each other, to keep so much information in your head, and to be able to recall it on demand and see how it applies in a given chart or situation. Of course, someone thought of writing a book called Astrology for Dummies, but the fact is, there’s no such thing, because if you’re really a dummy, you won’t get it.

And, good astrologers have to be more than just smart. We also have to have excellent intuition, because astrology is both a science and an art. The best astrologers are those rare individuals whose left and right brains are in synch.

Because we are so cerebral and so immersed in our subject, we are easily trapped into using astrology as an intellectual exercise to avoid having to actually live. The special knowledge we have of how the Universe works does not make us immune to having to feel what everyone else feels. The fact is that love is extremely scary, because it’s the one thing that forces us to face up to ourselves. Could that be why we hate the common question so much?

When a client asks me about love, my response is, “Let’s have a look at your chart.” Inside, I’m smiling, because I know that she doesn’t have a clue what she’s really asking, especially if she’s very young. But of course I don’t tell her that. She’ll figure out soon enough that anyone who is seeking true love has to go through a complete metamorphosis. Fortunately, there’s no better tool for helping the process along than astrology. The tests and trials that come in a romantic relationship ultimately have to do with the self, and astrology is incredibly efficient in this regard, because it allows the client to step outside herself and get some distance. Once her perceptions are validated, she can get out of the pit of guilt, shame, and blame that keep her stuck.

So that’s my devious plan: help people on their quest for love, and the world ultimately will be a better place.

What I really want to know, though, is when will I find true love?

Saturday Archives: Pluto in Synastry

I decided to continue with the Pluto theme and pulled out this post on Pluto in Synastry. Because Pluto in our charts, in synastry and by transit teaches us about control and how in the long run how little we really have, it is my opinion we can never learn too much about this small but powerful planet at the outer edges of our solar system.

pluto-and-charon-by-david-hardy.jpg

When I was asked about Pluto in synastry that question started this amazing upwelling of information . . . so here’s a big Thank You to the person who asked! In fact, there is so much coming up from the depths of my mind I may be at this for awhile . . .

First, it is necessary to remember Pluto is a major player (ignore those deluded folks who reclassified him as a dwarf planet) among the outer planets. The nature of the outer planets and the impact they have on us poor humans is profound and often difficult to discern and articulate. The only reason I’m attempting this is because Pluto by transit has conjuncted every single planet in my chart except Uranus and he opposed that. I’m sure there are a lot of other people out there who have shared this experience but as an astrologer I’m probably most compelled to use those experiences to help others understand just what the hell happened to their carefully crafted lives!

As always we need to look at how Pluto operates in our own charts first before we can look at how he works in synastry. Those of us with lots of Scorpio, loaded 8th Houses or Pluto in aspect to the personal planets and Ascendant, all have at least a starting point. My recommendation is to take note of where you are obsessing about something or someone, or having someone obsessing about you – then stop feeding energy into that. And personal experience says that is HARD sometimes! However, unless we can shine some light in those areas and apply good old fashioned common sense, we will continue to beat our heads against the wall of those obsessions. Liz Greene has written some amazing information about Pluto in her book, “The Astrology of Fate”. Reading that was very helpful for me in identifying and reducing my obsessions to a manageable level. “Manageable” is the key as the darn things are not going to disappear and blow away. So all you high-minded sorts that would prefer to remain above all that . . . not going to happen and it will only make things worse.

When it comes to relationships and Pluto we have to prepare ourselves to be an honest as possible about our motives and expectations. If a person has Pluto in the 7th House natally, they are just about guaranteed to find themselves dealing with control issues in their one-on-one relationships. Pluto/Moon aspects natally will often translate for men as seeing women as ball busting bitches, sad to say. And for women, well, that can emerge as this horrifying desire to run someone else’s life done to the tiniest detail. The way I see it these urges can end up eating up so much time and energy, there is nothing left for simply enjoying life as a couple. This is why I keep going back to the theme of getting to know, understand and accept ourselves first before running out and jumping into relationships. Being Libra, I have to say . . . on the other hand . . . there is the school of thought that says we learn by doing!

There will be much more forthcoming but for now, I’d like to pay homage to Pluto, Hades, Kali, Erishkagal and the many faces of that part of Life where something must be destroyed to make way for the possibility of renewal. By surrendering ourselves to this aspect of the cycle of being, we can open ourselves up to transformation as expressed by the Phoenix.

This is a painting done by David A. Hardy titled “Pluto and Charon” . . . simply stunning! To see more go to: http://www.solarvoyager.com/dhardy.asp

synastry, Libra specialtyposted by Neith . . .

Saturday Archives: Moon’s Nodes in Synastry

Because of the interest in the Moon’s nodes in synastry, I decided to pull up a post from the archives on this subject. So far the additional compatibility work I’ve done continues to support the importance of aspects to the lunar nodes. In fact, the feedback consistently suggests a karmic connection or, at the very least, a sense of familiarity and ease with each other. It is always good to know we’re on the right track!

2_of_cups.jpgOne of my regular readers asked: “Could you explain a little bit more about the south node between partners. If I’m correct my south node in Scorpio conjunct’s my partner’s Saturn, and his south node in Sag conjuncts my Saturn & Mercury. Typically the south node scares me, Lol. Should I be worried?”

As with everything is astrology, the answer is particular to these two individuals. Yes, I know . . . “That’s an Answer?!”

I will start by taking a quick look at their personal planet synastry. She’s a very Sagittarius Sun person with Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Uranus and Ascendant in Sagittarius. Her Moon is in Aquarius and all this equals a spontaneous, outgoing, forward looking individual. Her partner has his Sun in Leo and Moon in Aquarius. Right away we see these two not only have Suns trine but Moons conjoined – very compatible.They do have Mercury square with hers in Sagittarius and his in Virgo. However these are Mutable signs and though there may be differences in their approach to problem solving and expression, they may enjoy these occasionally heated discussions. We are talking two Fire sign Suns here!

They have good chemistry with her Mars in Scorpio sextile his Venus in Virgo, and his Mars in Scorpio semi-sextile her Venus in Sagittarius. Note that both have Mars in Scorpio and from the perspective of a person who shares this aspect with her S/O, I see this is a real plus!

The Saturn/South Node aspects go like this . . . her Saturn/Mercury are conjoined with his South Node/Vertex and her South Node/Pluto is conjoined with his Saturn. Naturally she went “whoa!” Yes, that set of aspects looks like there is a deep need for these two to be together, karmic as it were.

I offered to take a look at their composite chart which is a chart of the relationship to see what it had to say.They have a great composite chart that emphasizes the partnership aspect of the relationship between them. The Sun, Mercury, Venus are conjoined in Libra in the 7th House trine the Moon in Aquarius in the 11th House. This is wonderful combination and has genuine partners written all over it. Saturn is square to the Moon in the composite and it’s possible this aspect brings stability and grounding to all the Fire & Air energy. Neptune forms an out-of-sign sextile to Venus and the Moon adding a touch of romantic overtones.

If the relationship is working fine, then go with the flow for now . . . both people are in their early twenties and my guess is that with Saturn involved, it’s when they reach their first Saturn return, more information and issues will arise and can be dealt with then. There is an old saying . . . “don’t go borrowing trouble”! Enjoying the “now” never hurts. :-)

The Two of Cups is the card for the first stages in a partnership, when all is fresh and new.

synastry, Libra specialtyposted by Neith . . .

Ask Real Astrologers: Why Do Pisces Women Cheat?

This week’s question comes from Crystal in Portland, OR:

I had a Pisces friend who was cheating with a guy at the office while she was married to a good friend of my husband and me (I don’t speak to her anymore because of it). My sister-in-law is a Pisces, and she was cheating on her husband, too. A couple of years ago, a woman was hitting on my husband. She was a Pisces. Pisces women cheat and lie. What’s up with this?

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s response:

Crystal, I have to admit that I laughed when I read your question. One certainly would jump to that conclusion, given your experience. However, an empirical sample of three isn’t enough to brand all Pisces women with a scarlet letter.

What we can say about Pisces in general is that there can be a tendency toward situational ethics that drives other signs nuts, especially those that need firm rules and boundaries, like Capricorn and Leo. Neptune, the modern ruler of Pisces, is the planet of dreams, illusion, and delusion. Yes, there can be a certain amount of deception, but it’s usually not a deliberate intent to mislead or deceive.

Pisces often sees the bigger picture, which means they may have a different value system than society at large. This is not a gender-specific trait, and it can apply to Pisces, Rising Pisces, or anyone with strong Pisces or Neptunian influence in their chart. I recently met a man with Neptune on the Ascendant who told me a flat-out lie and was mortally offended when I called him on it. I truly believe he didn’t think he was lying.

That said, Pisces and people with strong Pisces in their charts can get away with lying like no other sign. They are so charming and sincere that you believe them without question. Anyone with this astrological “gift” who does want to cover up something will do so brilliantly. You probably don’t want that kind within a nautical mile of your husband.

Libra ponders . . .

Neith’s response:

I agree with Pat, Crystal. While your experience with Pisces women may suggest they are the sirens of the zodiac, there are plenty of others who say the same thing about Gemini, Scorpio, Leo, etc. It may have more to do with what’s going on in your chart to draw this type of situation to you.

Pisces people and those with a strong Neptune influence in their charts tend to be romantics and often more enamored with the idea of romance than the reality. There is a great deal of truth to them seeing life and love through rose-colored glasses.

Another factor to be considered with the Neptune-ruled is how easy it is to project expectations and illusions onto them. Behaviors they see as just being friendly can be misconstrued as flirting. Most people with a strong Pisces influence in their charts tend to be kind and sympathetic sorts and genuinely caring people. The caveat is this is often a less personal and more general expression of caring. Neptune is the higher octave of Venus and deals with compassion rather than passion, but it’s easy to confuse the two when the lovely Pisces lady you are talking to at a party is apparently hanging on your every word.

My recommendation if you find yourself falling for a Neptune type is to get a second opinion from a dispassionate third party. It’s a whole lot easier to see what’s going on from the outside looking in!

Got a question for Neith and Pat? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers.

Ask Real Astrologers: Square Sun signs that work

 This week’s question comes from Katie in San Rafael, CA:

I’m a Gemini and my husband is a Pisces. We’ve been married for 15 years (second marriage for both of us) and I consider him my best friend. But according to astrology, we shouldn’t even get along. I had a reading a long time ago, and the astrologer was so accurate it was scary. But astrology is totally inaccurate in terms of my own personal experience in my relationship. Can you explain this?

Libra ponders . . .

Neith’s response:

Katie, this is a good example of why Sun sign astrology can be misleading when it comes to relationships. Your Pisces husband has his Moon in Sagittarius, which is very harmonious with your Gemini Sun. In addition, your Moon in fiery Leo is quite happy relating to his Moon in Sagittarius, creating an atmosphere of emotional understanding and making it much easier to synchronize your daily routines.

He has Sagittarius as his Rising sign, placing Gemini on the cusp of the seventh house of partnerships and the same sign as your Sun. Another plus is your Mercury in Gemini conjunct his Descendant, and that is good for communications. This aspect is strengthened because Mercury is Gemini’s ruler.

Your Ascendant in Cancer and his Pisces Sun are in a favorable trine, adding another positive tie between your charts. A parallel working for this relationship is him having his Sun in a mutable sign and located in his third house, so it operates much more like your Gemini Sun, suggesting you two have lots to talk about.

Enjoy your lively relationship!

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s response:

I couldn’t agree more with Neith and would like to emphasize the limitations of Sun sign astrology when it comes to compatibility in intimate relationships. There is so much more to it.

In addition to Neith’s analysis, I’d like to add that your Venus is in a very close sextile to your husband’s Mars, indicating a dynamic sexual attraction. I have yet to find a couple that has been together for many years that doesn’t have this “glue” to hold their relationship together.

Of course, this also means that his Mars is almost directly opposite your Moon. Moon-Mars aspects typically indicate powerful sexual chemistry, but when they’re in opposition, there may be some tension surrounding intimacy. Still, tension is not always a bad thing and can be great for your sex life.

Lastly, I’d like to note that your Sun is in the first degree of Gemini, while your husband’s Sun is in the last degree of Pisces. In other words, he’s almost an Aries. In fact, your Sun signs don’t conflict at all but actually are in a positive, harmonious relationship.

Thanks for writing, and best wishes to you both.

Got a question for Neith and Pat? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers.

Ellen DeGeneres, Quirky Aquarius

Ellen DeGeneres at her casual best  Ellen DeGeneres recently picked up her fourth Daytime Emmy for hosting her own TV show with humor and style. An Aquarius born January 26, 1958, Ellen has combined the charm of her Venus-Sun conjunction in Aquarius with an innate zaniness amplified by the opposition of Uranus, Aquarius’s ruler.

Playing host to a wide variety of celebrities and others comes easy to Ellen with Jupiter conjunct Neptune in her eleventh house. The eleventh house falls under the aegis of Aquarius, her Sun sign, expanding her ability to relate to a broad cross-section of humanity and see them as kindred spirits. The Jupiter-Neptune combination can act as a mirror for her viewers, allowing them to project their expectations of Ellen as a genial host to all and sundry.

Her Sagittarius Ascendant contributes to her sense of comedic timing and her relaxed sense of style – she almost always wears tennis shoes with everything from jeans to a tux. Mars and Saturn are conjunct in Sagittarius in the first house and give her the drive and energy needed to achieve her goals.

Ellen has been able to use all of her differences and natural quirkiness to her advantage. She was the first woman to play an openly lesbian character on TV in April 1997. At the same time, she disclosed that she was a lesbian in her personal life. Her Moon is in adventurous Aries supported by a trine from Mars and Saturn, giving her a strong sense of independence.

Conversely, her Mercury in conventional Capricorn squares her Moon, so she may have difficulty expressing how she feels, especially to those close to her.

Ellen also is making headline news for her impending marriage to her longtime significant other, Portia de Rossi. Portia is a fellow Aquarian, with Uranus aspecting her Venus-Jupiter conjunction. It is no surprise she, too, is willing to publicly express her individuality. Ellen and Portia both have Mars in Sagittarius within a few degrees, contributing to their compatibility. It’s a safe bet to say that life is never boring around these two.

Saturn in Virgo will be transiting Ellen’s Midheaven in the latter half of this year, then will move back and forth over it before moving deeper into her tenth house. It is likely she will continue to focus time and energy on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and most likely pick up a fifth Daytime Emmy for Outstanding Talk Show in 2009.

Ellen DeGeneres Natal Chart

Libra hereposted by Neith . . .

Ask Real Astrologers: Midheaven in Synastry

                                             
Readers often write to ask us questions about their individual charts or specific situations, so we figured it’s just natural to start a regular Q&A feature.

Since we have two different approaches to astrology, we thought it would be fun if we both answered the same question. As we like to say around here, two heads are better than one!

Our first question comes from Bridget in Milwaukee.

Hey, I’m just wondering what your general take is on one person’s Midheaven conjoining another person’s first house/Ascendant (not necessarily conjunct the Ascendant degree). I am not finding much out there about this synastry aspect and would love to hear your take on it!

Libra ponders . . .

Neith’s answer:

This is a great question! There is definitely a public aspect to this partnership, because both the Ascendant and Midheaven are indications of how we project ourselves visibly into the world at large. In fact, this particular synastry aspect is one Pat and I have (my ASC and her MC), and we have gone into a very visible partnership via our website, Real Astrologers.com. That’s not to say it’s uncommon in personal relationships, just that there is a good possibility the relationship will have a public component.

Aquarius expounds . . .

Pat’s answer:

I concur with Neith that this aspect in synastry tells us something about how the two partners will interact in public. The first and tenth houses are angular houses and therefore action-oriented. The Midheaven person likely will be the one who initiates the action, brings the Ascendant person into the activity, or raises the Ascendant person’s visibility. Now, I do think there’s a possibility that these two could be competitive, but that depends on the sign of the conjunction and also on what else is going on in your charts. In a romantic relationship, if your Sun-Moon and Venus-Mars signs are compatible, then you should be fine. If competition does arise, it can be mitigated by agreeing beforehand on the “rules,” respecting each other’s opinions, and knowing yourself well enough to know whether underlying emotions are clouding your judgment.

Send us your questions! We will pick one or two a week to answer in this column. If your situation is involved, please consider a full reading by Neith or Pat, which will give you far more information than we can provide in a short Q&A format. Remember, Real Astrologers reports and forecasts aren’t generated by a computer but always written from scratch, exclusively for you!

Got a question for Neith and Pat? Click here to contact Ask Real Astrologers.

Short Compatibility Report Sample: Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi

reach out with Love 

This is an example of a Compatibility Short Report looking at the natal charts first for an idea as to how each individual responds in relationships and moving on the synastry aspects between the charts. I’ve chosen Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi because a) they have been married for many years and b) this will show how much information is available using one good birth time and one unknown birth time. [I was not comfortable writting this report addressing Patrick directly as is my normal practice . . . weird but true] Here is a link to view this report:  Sample Synastry Report for Patrick Swayze & Lisa Niemi

The Relationship Snapshot Report will cover essentially the first portion of the Short Compatibility Report, the natal charts and shorthand look. This still can answer the question of whether the relationship is one worth pursuing, or why it isn’t. We can also figure out if relationship issues are best resolved by working on your own “stuff” too.

If you have complete birth data for both parties, then it may be worthwhile to go with the Full Compatibility Report which includes a discussion of the Composite chart derived from the mid-points of both charts. The Composite chart can be easily relocated to where you are currently living. When I calculated a Composite chart for my husband and I based on our location rather than birth places, the Sun, Venus, Jupiter stellium moved from the twelfth house into the first – a huge difference in how the relationship is perceived by others. In other words, it is obvious to all who meet us we are a happily married couple because it’s right there for everyone to see!

When I can find a celebrity couple with good complete birth data for both people, I will do a sample of the Composite chart section of the Full Compatibility Report. If anyone knows of such a couple, please point me in their direction – who they are doesn’t matter, good birth times do! [Now you know my priorities . . . good data!!]

Libra is all about the other posted by Neith . . .

patrick-swayze-natal-chart.pdf

lisa-niemi-natal-chart-unknown-birth-time.pdf

Family Power Plays and Pluto

 the view from Pluto 

In many ways families are the microcosm for studying the effects of planets at work in synastry, natally and by transit. I’m watching one unfold in my immediate family between my Aries SO and his younger daughter. She is currently in the early stages of transiting Pluto approaching her natal Capricorn Moon and is heading into the second pass of her Saturn Return. She also has Pluto in Libra conjunct her Ascendant and so far her reaction to that natal aspect is to attempt to dominate and control every aspect of her life . . . . [Yeah, like that will work in the long run!]

Her father and I are about the only people in her immediate family who will stand their ground and not allow her to have her way. Both her dad and I have Mars in Scorpio square Pluto in Leo and we both have a definite “don’t mess with me” vibe. Her Mars is in Taurus exactly opposing her father’s and mine, so the operative synastry aspect here is a T-square with Pluto in Leo at the apex! Her Uranus in Scorpio opposes her Mars and conjuncts her father’s Mars exacerbating the situation with the arbitrary quality Uranus brings to the table. Sure does sound like power plays to me.

The latest episode revolves around her civil marriage ceremony. Instead of opening negotiations and discussing the location with her dad, she announced she wanted to have it on the ex-law’s property at the last minute [Uranus in action] knowing full well he had stated in no uncertain terms he would never voluntarily set foot there again. The reason she gave was this is what her financé wished – like her Capricorn financé ever did anything she didn’t ask?!

The upshot is a typical Pluto power play result . . . no one’s happy, there are bad feelings all the way around and almost every one is “stuffing” their feelings. With Pluto, resolution is often only possible through deliberate disengagement and that is not happening in this situation due to other complicating factors.

Plutonians in the depth of control issues tend not to respond well to confrontation and most must hit their personal “wall” hard enough to choose the path to detachment and sanity. This is what my own experience with Pluto has taught . . . the hard way.

from Aries to Pisces

 

 

A note on helping Plutonians and those in the throes of a Pluto transit to the personal planets and Ascendant in particular – these individuals will not likely respond to offers of help. It’s comparable to dealing with addicts who have not acknowledged their addiction. Until the door is opened a crack by the Plutonian person (they request assistance and feedback), they may not react well to even the kindest, more sincere offer of help.

Libra offers perspectiveposted by Neith . . .

The Second House in Synastry: Follow the $$

going to the heart of the matter

With the Sun and Mercury now in Taurus with Venus joining them May 1, it’s a good time to consider how the second house works in synastry.

Taurus is the ruler of the second house and is noted for being fond of material things like good food, silky fabrics, and a healthy bank account. One of the most contentious areas in relationships is often money – or, rather, our attitudes about money, shown by the second house.

One of the reasons an accurate birth time is important in determining compatibility is that it establishes where the Ascendant falls, which in turn determines how the chart wheel is laid out, including what signs fall in each house.

If the Ascendants in both partners’ charts are harmonious, chances are very good the signs on the second house will be, too. For example, someone with Aries rising usually has Taurus on the second house cusp; if the partner’s chart has Leo rising, then Virgo will be on the second. Taurus and Virgo are both Earth signs and share similar ideas of how to handle money . . . thriftily!

Likewise, if the partner’s Ascendants are in conflict, the signs in their second house likely will clash, too. A Scorpio rising person with Sagittarius in the second house stands a good chance of running into disagreements with a Leo rising person with Virgo on the cusp of the second house. Sagittarius and Virgo have completely different styles for handling their finances. Sagittarius is inclined to trust luck a little too much for Virgo’s careful style. [What do you mean you bought a new SUV for a run to the mountains?!]

Planets in the second house strongly influence our values and attitudes about possessions, too. Saturn’s presence indicates extra caution with spending and handling material goods, even if the sign on the cusp is noted for being more free and easy. Likewise, Jupiter in the second house suggests generosity, even if he’s in one of the more parsimonious signs.

In synastry, if one person’s Saturn conjoins, squares, or opposes a planet in the second house, it can make the second house person feel like their spending habits are constantly being questioned – not good. Difficult Jupiter aspects often indicate that a couple will be excessive in their spending, even if they are able to maintain some discipline on their own.

Astrology is a great tool for identifying potential sore points in this sensitive area and helping discuss them, but it still is up to the individual to take the necessary steps toward resolution. Either Pat or I will be glad to offer our insights as we are both very experienced in the area of chart compatibility and do synastry reports.

Libra loves partnersposted by Neith . . .